The biggest issue right now is sleep time, bed time or nap time, he throws
a fit, screaming, kicking, hitting, getting out of bed, etc...
it isnt every day, but more often than not.

i've tried keeping him on a fairly regulated schedule (not second by second,
but around the same time every day) and we have a ritual (kind of) that
involves potty, drink, story and music. this all works if i can get him to
settle down long enough to want to hear the story.

( is it just me or is a not quite 2 year old a little bit young to be doing
the whole "go potty!!!" "want drink" "go potty" routine before bed? just
curious!!)

also, biting is a big issue from time to time, and that one really bothers
me, because he bites my roommates child occasionally (he wont bite for
weeks, then suddenly he's a biting fool.)


i realise that spanking him doesnt make sense "im going to hurt you because
you hurt him" just seems really childish to me. but what do i do? i can
separate the kids, and say no bite! but he keeps on doing it.

as far as the rest, i am making a concerted effort not to spank him, and it
made me realise that i was doing it out of frustration, which is dangerous,
i'd hate to loose controll of myself, and not really doing any good. now i
tend to tell him what he should be doing. if he hits i say no hitting, show
nice! (he'll rub the side of your face gently and say nice) or say sorry and
give huggs. sometimes this works, but how do i deal with the NO! NO!NO!'s?
ah the joys of toddlers!!

thanks for the info and help so far. !!
Celeste

P.S. just wanted to say that he is actually a very well behaved child most
of the time, he is just a little hyper and desperately curious and not
afraid of anything, and incredibly bright, which just happens to be an
exausting and sometimes frustrating combo, but soooo rewarding too. my
little guy is the best thing thats ever happened to me, and the only way i'd
be any happier is if he slept past 6:30 in the morning!!!


;-)


Celeste

"Catherine Woodgold" wrote in message
...
"C. Gregory" ) writes:
hi there, new to this board.

i need help, and advice, and info please!!!

i have a son who is almost 2. i have spanked him, and hated it every
time. i
do not wish to hit my child, in fact untill just recently (a couple of
months ago) i never thought i would i was as anti spanking as you can
get
( i dont think its right, i just dont). the problem is that i just dont
know
what else to do. its what i grew up with, and what i knew, and i'm at my
whits end!!! any non spanking parents of toddlers, PLEASE give me some
advice.


thank you




Hello. I think you would like to read the book
"Setting Limits: Raising Responsible Children with
CLEAR Boundaries" by R. Mackenzie. This book tells
how to get children to follow rules, without
spanking and without ever needing to yell either.

Toddlers can be very very frustrating at times.
It helps to keep a sense of humour. When
everything is going wrong, try to just suddenly
break out laughing. Sometimes it works.

It's good to calmly think out a plan for what
to do when the child does something you don't
like. When you have some free time (as if
parents of toddlers ever do!) you can try to
think of things the child might do, and then
think of how you will respond.

Example: your child hits another child.
One way to respond: you calmly say "we don't
hit." You pick up your child and take him/her
away from the other children, away from the
toys, to a quiet place for a whole minute
(which seems like a long time at that age.)
Then you take your child back, maybe say
"let's play gently," and that's that.
If the child hits again, you do it again.
Similar actions have been proven in scientific
studies to be as effective as spanking in
teaching proper behaviour. Probably more effective
in the long run.

Better yet, you watch and catch your child
before he/she hits. "I see you're frustrated
because you want that toy. Let's ask the
other child for a turn."

If you tell me what situations you spank in,
I can give alternative suggestions for those
situations.

One idea: do everything else the same, but
just don't spank! Just do something to calm
yourself down instead. The child will
sometimes do things you don't like, whether
you spank or not. If you don't spank, in
the long run, he/she will probably behave
a lot better than if you do.
--
Cathy