"C. Gregory" ) writes:
The biggest issue right now is sleep time, bed time or nap time, he throws
a fit, screaming, kicking, hitting, getting out of bed, etc...
it isnt every day, but more often than not.

Ooh, that's a tough one. Sounds very difficult for you.
Probably very difficult for him, too.

I wonder whether he's afraid to go to sleep because of nightmares.

I wonder what your sleeping arrangements a that is, do you
expect him to be alone in a room while he falls asleep? If so,
I would urge you to consider staying with him until he falls
asleep. Little children are often afraid of being alone.

Many mothers find that breastfeeding is a relatively easy way to get
toddlers to sleep.

You could try a cradle or some sort of (safe) swinging hammock,
or try to have him fall asleep in your lap while you rock
in a rocking chair. You could take him for a walk in a stroller
at naptime; he might fall asleep like that. That might
not be as convenient for you as having him sleep in a bed
at home, but it might be better than the kicking and stuff.

There are some good ideas on this page:

http://borntoexplore.org/discipline.htm

While this is written for parents of kids with ADD, the
ideas apply to all kids IMO.

See especially the part of that page that begins
"I had just read about Kiersey's ...". (Most of the
way down the page, the second yellow section after
the blue heading "Method # 2: Abuse it -- Lose it", not
the heading near the top, "2. Abuse it -- Lose it".)
This talks about how Teresa Gallagher (the author of
the web page) got her son to take naps in day care
with a system where he would lose the privilege of
using his cot if he got up. If you decide to use
a method like that, you need enough confidence to
be able to continue calmly applying the method while
it seems not to work the first few times. You need
to get across to the child that you will continue
using that method no matter what the child does.

Spanking will certainly not help get a child to sleep.

You might consider whether he needs to have a longer
sleep at night and no nap. At least that would cut
the struggles in half! If he's not tired, it's harder
to get him to sleep.

With my kids, sometimes naps had to be at a specific
time. If we started trying to have the nap later
than 12:30 past noon, it took longer to get them
to sleep. Different kids will have different patterns.
They might not look tired when the best time for
the nap comes along.

Consider adding a bath into the sleeptime routine.
Supposedly it does something to body temperature
that promotes sleep. Anyway, I found baths were
really useful: both to keep a baby awake during
the bath, and to help the baby or child get to
sleep shortly after the bath. I think the bath
helps relax them. (Or if they splash a lot maybe
it tires them out.)

Also try to think of things you can say as part
of the bedtime routine. "Good night, sleep tight"
or whatever. Things to say just before the story
and just after. The same things every time, said
in a very loving voice. It helps make the routine
more routine, and signals the child that it's time
to go to sleep.

--
Cathy