Because children have the right to make their own decisions without one
parent telling them things about the other parent...The child has this
right
and it should not be influenced by talk from the other parent. Let the
child
make their own decision of the absent parent and then talk to them about
it.

I didn't say anything about giving the child a biased opinion of
dad--I asked why she didn't redirect the child's attention to
something else.

Noone said she didn't.


WHY is this child, who has
never had dad full time in his life, so focussed on what he DOESN'T
have?

Because he sees all of his cousins, friends, neighborhood children,
school
children who's fathers are taking them to games, the park, for ice
cream,
playing with the outside---and the child wants to know why his dad
doesnt do
these things.
Is that so hard of a concept to grasp? He sees what he doesnt have. If
he
sees his friend with a trampoline he wants to know why he doesnt have
one.

And if he wants one, is it immediately given to him? If he doesn't get
exactly what he wants, does he go into fits over it?

No if he wants something it is not immediatley given to him. And sometimes
their are fits...as I am sure you see in your classroom wiht ADHD ODD
children

As you say he is focused on what he doesnt have by seeing others that
have
it....children do that.

Yes, children do that--that is how children--and adults with credit
cards--are.

OUCH MY EARS--Credit Cards scare me LOL (sorry had to add that bit of humor)

But the answer is sometimes "no--can't do that." And
children need to learn to accept that.

Yes they do


This child eventually needs to
understand that he has no power over the situation. Or is he given
everything he wants by mom, so he thinks he should be obeyed by dad,
too?
By far isnt given everything....


There is way more to this story than poor, helpless mom doing
all she can to help poor helpless baby deal with hateful, nasty dad.

I never said dad was nasty---he is absent and irresponsible...


Is there an underlying diagnosis that you are not sharing, such as
childhood schizophrenia or something?

no schizophrenia, diagnosis of ADHD and ODD

Ah, now that helps to understand the situation. Do you think that
dad's presence would "cure" him of these problems?

No it would definitly not

I have had many
such children in my classroom over the years. Dad's unending presence
in his life will not fix him--he needs to learn to control his
behavior--and he needs help doing that. I am assuming that he is
taking some sort of medication to help him.

Different meds have been tried. Yes they are helping some. He gets little
special help at school, specifically on those 'bad days'

And getting special help
at school. Solid, 2-parent families struggle to help their ADHD, ODD
children.
There is no magical setting or situation that can make it
all better.

Yes, I know.

snip for length

Take the kid to the park on the weekend. Send a card on birthday's.
Call
just to see how school went that day....All women can do is sit
around
and
wait
for dad to live up to his responsibilities as a father.

All women can do is sit around and wait for a man to give them money?
NO to live up to the responsibility of being a father---didnt you see i
said
before that forget about child support payments --- parental
responsibilities of the mother OR father is much more than child support
in
form of money

You very plainly said that all women can do is sit around and wait for
dad to live up to his responsibilities. What do widowed women do?

now that is way off the subject...most widowed women dont have children
living at home that need their PARENTS (not saying their arent some)...this
is about parents of small children.

Sit
around and wait for another man? A home with both a mother and a
father is the ideal thing for children--but it is not always possible.
And "sitting around waiting" doesn't fix that.
I didnt mean sitting around waiting literally. Figure of speech.


What? Women can't work and earn money?
Sure they can--did I say that? NO But lets just let absent parent off
without helping to support his/her children---

Two different topics. Sure, both parents SHOULD be involved in their
children's lives. But, if that isn't happening, "sitting around
waiting" is not going to fix things. No matter what SHOULD be
happening, the parent with the child MUST do what needs to be done,
because "sitting around waiting" is not a viable option.

again you took sitting around waiting too literrally....


Women can't take children on
outings?
of course they can....

So is Baby's mom taking him to the park, ball games, etc, like the
other kids' fathers are? Instead of sitting around waiting for dad to
do so?

do you always take things so literally? Yes mom does such things and more
with the child but dad doesnt....the point is Child Support cut out of
picture--pretend it doesnt even exist in monetary form--why doesnt Dad (in
this case) bother to 'spend time' with the child....yes mom spends time--why
doesnt dad? Sure mom can and does do these things, but wouldnt it be nice to
have dad there too? Yes it would, but dad doesnt WANT to be there....

Women can't keep their children;s lives too full for moping?

You just read too much into what I was saying---children need both
parents -- wether they are together or seperated...absent parents dont
have
to spend time with children is what you see, to say.

Yes, they certainly need both parents. They need both parents fully
involved in their day to day lives--not one as the real parent, and
the other as a paying visitor. But sometimes that just doesn't
happen. And sitting around waiting isn't going to make it happen.

again taken too literrally--you make it sound as if Mom is sitting on the
couch watching out the window every day for Dad to appear....that isnt the
case---

Women can't point their children to the bright side of things? Women
are so dependent on men that their children end up in psyciiatric
hospitals if men don't do what women think they should? You are
painting a very grim picture of women here.

No I am not, you are by reading more into this than there is. I never
said
any of those things. The presence of dad may have helped the issues. I
never
even thought those things. You are the one painting the bad picture for
women....or any custodial parent out there.

Let's see--Dad doesn't visit regularly, kid ends up in psychiatric
hospital, Dad may have helped had he been there.

Sure dad may have helped....had he been there from the beginning and had an
influence on the child maybe things wouldve been different, maybe not. But
when the problems started coming up dad couldve helped by being there
MORALLY EMOTIONALLY (phone calls maybe?) Ya know, when Mom called Dad to
tell him child was in hospital Dad's mom hung up the phone saying 'sucks to
be him' .... about a 6 year old kid?!?! Her own blood...Now you tell me that
something wasn't going on in Dad's household to make him not bother. Oh
thats right, alot of you reading this think Mom is to blame...Sorry I
forgot.

Women are stuck with
sitting around waiting for dad to do the right thing.

how about alot of Custodial Parents are wondering wether or not the Non
Custodial Parent will ever do the right thing (earlier referred to as
sitting around waiting).....I guess I must explain every statement I make
because you are taking everything too darn literally.



Hmmm... Sounds
pretty grim to me.