Kimberly wrote:

: Need any and all advice! My 5 year old boy just started
: kindergarten last Tuesday. My problem is every morning when I drop
: him off at his classroom, he goes into a horrible fit mode, he's even
: ripped my shirt on one occasion.

If your child has not shown this degree of separation anxiety before, I'd
make sure you volunteer to help out in the classroom ASAP. If for some
reason you are unable to volunteer during kindergarten hours, seek out
another parent who volunteers quite regularly in the classroom and ask
what they perceive to be the problem.

What I have found in my travels as a frequent school volunteer is that
teachers are not perfect and fall prey to the same personality conflicts
we as adults have with other people. However, in the case of a teacher
having a poor personality fit with a student, the imbalance of power is
quite intense. Often times, active boys are particularly singled out as
problem students in kindergarten classrooms and school time can be pure
misery to them if they don't have a teacher who is able to handle their
hyperactivity well.

In addition to all that, I'd ask the teacher in a very non-threatening way
how things are going in the class. Don't always trust teachers when say
things are going well. Unless a child is ready to be sent to the
principal for incorrigible behaviour, some teachers will tell you
everything is going fine. Ask if the teacher has had to dole out any kind
of light punishment, such as time outs, for poor behaviour in the class.
Tell the teacher you want to work out any behaviour problems early on
before things get out of hand. Let the teacher know you're there to back
her up as a team in handling any problem behaviors your son might have in
the class but that you must be kept informed of your child's progress
each week.

I'd jump on this one right away. Now is the time to ask to change
teachers in the first week to find a better fit. Although unusual, there
are some teachers who are a poor fit in dealing with kindergarten
students.

And all this talk may be unnecessary if your child has always shown this
kind of separation anxiety. But if this kind of behavior was no evident
in preschool, you need to reevaluate the teacher and even maybe your son's
readiness for kindergarten if things don't resolve within the next few
weeks. Crying on the first day of kindergarten is normal. Crying for an
entire week and nearly tearing off the mom's shirt seems to speak of a
bigger problem than separation anxiety to me.

Noreen