"ted" wrote in message
om...
How do you deal with it if among the siblings one is naughty and the
other is nice? Just curious.

Thanks
Do you mean continually? Or in one given situation?
Or do you mean by your conception, i.e. you have a favourite?

If it's just one situation then I think you praise the good behaviour, and
discipline (which might mean ignoring) the naughty one. Certainly I remember
discovering that a really good way to annoy my siblings was to do something
really good (say do the washing up without being asked) when they were being
naughty.

Continually is more difficult.
I know my brother was regarded as "difficult" or "going through an awkward
stage" (lasted from age 8 to about 18) and I found it really frustrating
that he would get treats by being difficult. For example he didn't really
entertain himself so they took him to things that I'd been told that I
couldn't. I can see now why they did it, but it did make things hard between
us.
The problem is that if they'd praised/punished us on the same scale then
he'd have constantly been in trouble and hardly ever praised. He always had
a bit of a persecution complex so it wouldn't have helped his behaviour. But
sometimes I felt he got things just because he made much more fuss if told
no.

I think if you have a favourite then you must not let it be known by your
reactions. After I'd married dh one time I commented once about his parent's
favourites and dh not only hadn't noticed, but I don't think he believed me.
They do treat them all the same and I only noticed over a length of time,
and certain things when added together.

HTH
Debbie