On Thu, 22 Jun 2006 14:23:15 EDT, "Elizabeth King"
wrote:

My daughter has been taking gymnastics at the same gym for 5 1/2 years
now. We are thinking of changing gyms because the class that works with
my daughter's schedule has a coach that she really doesn't like.

My daughter can't or won't explain why she doesn't like this coach. [...]

Do I tell the gym why we are leaving? Since I can't give specifics (and
I've tried asking DD. I just get tears.) I don't expect them to do
anything about it unless it is part of a pattern.

I would tell them (probably the office staff or manager, not the coach
directly) that you're leaving because your daughter doesn't like
Coach X.

You might find out that they're shifting the coaching schedule in the
fall, or you might open the door to being able to call them in the
fall and ask questions about which coaches are on duty when.

The people who manage the gym/club would be glad to hear from you that
everything else in their program works well for your family.

You can say that you don't know why your daughter doesn't like working
with this coach ("doesn't like working with" is less personal than
"doesn't like"). A good club manager might ask you a few more
open-ended questions designed to look for clues to the problems that
they must always have their ears open for. (does the coach focus too
much on the talented kids? does the coach make comments about weight
or body shape? does the coach shout, belittle kids who are afraid of
falling, or not share a sense of humour with the kids? does the coach
make appropriate efforts to prevent bullying by other kids? are there
any hints of sexual, emotional, or physical abuse?) You can be polite
and noncommittal in your answers, even if you get a hint that the
manager is unsurprised to hear about problems with this coach.

You can then decide how much of the conversation your daughter wants
to hear about afterwards. For a kid who's reluctant to put hard
feelings into words, it's a useful demonstration that you trust her
instincts even without words, and that there are ways to say something
unpopular and not open oneself up to cross-examination. Maybe your
daughter will tell you someday why she didn't like this coach, and
maybe she won't.

Louise