"Michelle Podnar" wrote in message
. ..
Definitions of breastfeeding terms:

Boob Lift - The unconscious lifting of one's breasts to check which is
fuller. May be done at any time regardless of where you are or whom you're
talking to, grocery sackers and priests notwithstanding.

Nursing Flip - The action of adjusting you and your to make ready for
nursing. This means moving your tee-shirt off your butt, doing the
"boob-lift", putting the in the crook of your arm and unlatching your
bra,
all in about 15 seconds, with no attention taken away from your previous
task.

Wet-Nurse Syndrome - The unconscious urge to nurse any fussy you happen
to
be holding; you may be engaged in casual conversation while holding your
neighbor's , she fusses and you do the "nursing flip," your neighbor looks
at you shocked, "oh my, she must be hungry," you mumble as you pass her
infant back. *A side-effect of this is the "breastmilk fixes everything"
philosophy. Actually pumping your milk for the stray kitten you found,
under
the rational that, of course, human milk is better than cow milk for a
starving kitten. You may also find yourself using breastmilk for your
family's various wounds: "Got a sore, earache or zit? Put some breastmilk
on
it, that'll fix it.'' (least that's what they say, can't hurt)

Boobie Wrangling - The acrobatics your toddler does while nursing,
including
but not limited to flips, headstands, & taffy pulls, all while surrounded
by
relatives who believe that should have been weaned months ago. The
benefit
of this exercise is that you can now nurse your child while each of you
lie
on your backs.

Twiddling - What happens if everyone fails to mention that your caressing
your other breast while nursing is NOT sweet. Never, never let your know
that you can possibly have two breasts at the same time. Always keep the
unused breast covered, lest you want your little nursling to use it as her
favorite toy. This becomes a habit quick, heed our warning.

The Steal - The act of removing your nipple from your already sleeping 's
mouth so that you may roll over or sneak out of bed for some midnight
internet use. Typically takes 2 or 3 tries to succeed.

Just a Sip - When your now-walking comes to you, lifts your shirt, grabs
a
drink to refuel him/herself for 10 more minutes of play. This act of
helping
themselves is a show of independence for them, and a show of breast for
everyone else in the room.

Car Surfing - What you are doing when you strategically hover your breast
over the 's car seat while daddy drives down the interstate, ignoring your
butt in the rearview mirror.

does anyone actually do this?
funny post though.
--
elizabeth (in australia)
DS - born 20-aug-02