"April" wrote in message
...
** Well, I had to leave my son's father. He was very abusive
to
me and was starting on our son. I could handle it, but you
don't
beat on a 1 1/2 year old because he won't stop crying because
he
doesn't want a nap. He had anxiety issues and was being
medicated
for about a month. Then he quit. He promised month after month
to go back but it never happened. AFter 3 months State troppers
knock on my door because my husband was caught on surveillance
cameras stealing over 1200.00 for his job.( he worked retail).
I
couldn't handle anymore. I gave him an easy choice. He could
forego paying support by just signing him totally over to me.
He
refused. He paid child support. He couldn't keep a job,and was
constantly behind on his payments. In over 4 years, he never
once
tried to see his son yet would tell me that the name is what's
important ( mind you the child knows nothing about the family
name since his father never saw him) and that he still loves
him.
I never will understand my ex-husbands philosophy on all of
this.
But Alas, I have remarried and Next month we all go downtown to
swear in front of the judge that my husband is adopting my son.
his father finally.. (after 7 years) realizes that our son is
better off having a father who does things with him and takes
care of him. So I guess my story DOES have a happy ending

I'm very glad to hear that a man who had no wish to be a father
stepped aside so that the man who wants to be the father is free
to raise your child with you. It's too bad it took the bio dad
so
long to let go. If any child support arrearages have accrued,
will
you be signing a letter of satisfaction saying that they are
paid
in full?

I wish you and your family the very best, April. It sounds like
things are working out well for all of you.
** to tell you the truth, he paid up all his back arrears and is
also paying ofor the adoption. Lawyer's idea and I agree... on
one
hand he could be paying the next 9 years of child support or the
$1200.00 for the adoption.. He opted for the latter.

Wait a second. You have a legal CS obligation too. How much have
you been required to pay all along? Why are you so willing to
sell
out your own CS obligation? Do you really think accepting $1200
lets you off the hook to support your child?

I don't quite understand what you are asking, Bob. April said her
child's bio father never wanted anything to do with the child, but
refused to sign away his rights. This last year, he said he would
sign away his rights and let April's husband, who has been raising
the child along with April, adopt him. He has agreed to pay the
$1200 adoption fee. Then he doesn't have to pay child support for
9
more years for a child he has never even attempted to have a
relationship with. April has been doing her part to support her
son
all along.

Well she has had a pretty sweet deal. She gets CS from the child's
father (he paid all arrears, right?), has a current husband helping
to
support her kid, and she doesn't even acknowledge she had any CS
obligation of her own. Her comments have indicated three adults have
been paying to support this kid, but I suspect the people supporting
the kid are the two men.

I'm asking her how much she was ordered to pay and if she paid it.
If
she claims to have been providing her portion of support too then
she
has one really well taken care of kid. And the adoption will reduce
the amount of support from three adults to two adults and make the
kid
worse off. I suspect this is just another case where the CP mom is
shuffling dollars around and claiming she has been paying her share
of
CS with the money she has been getting from two different men.
** for your information, All of the money I have gotten from the
bio-father has gone into a savings acct for him. The money was for
him
and it will remain so. I have worked upwards of 3 jobs at one time
to
take care of my son on my own. I have paid ALL medical bills, ALL
food
bills, ALL clothing. 70.00 a week doesn't cover **** when you have a
chilld. hence why it all went into a bank acct. Perhaps , you sir,
should get your ****in facts straight before you go off in directions
you have NO comapss for.

Here are the facts. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the mean CS
award for all custodial mothers is currently $5176 per year. The
average custodial mother has 1.6 children. That means the average CS
award per child is $3235 per year, or $270 per month. Your award of
$70
per week is equal to $303 per month. This money is tax free. You
have
a slightly above average CS award. You acknowledge receiving 100% of
what was owed.

In addition, you are eligible to receive the Income Tax Exemption, the
Earned Income Credit, any Education Tax Credits, and use at a minimum
Head of Household filing status. These tax savings further subsidize
your costs to raise your child. Making it sound like you don't
receive
enough money to support your son is not believable.
** I NEVER once said that I had a hard time supporting my son.. Not
once.
My ex-husband WANTED to pay the CS. I NEVER kept him from seeing his
son, he , obviously, didn't care to. Are you telling me that because I
had NO problems taking care of my son, that I shouldn't have taken his
father for CS?!?! And BTW: I never did get EIC on my tax returns.. I
made too much.

Based on your most recent posts showing the extreme anger and hostility
you feel toward men, and your foul language and aggressive attitude
toward
men, I find it normal for your ex-husband to not want to have any
contact
with you or your son. No wonder he is willing to take your deal to get
out of the abuse cycle.

If you are willing to talk the way you have when addressing a total
stranger, it is not a far stretch to assume you put your ex-husband
through some significant verbal abuse. Why would he want to come around
you and your son to take the abuse? Your son will figure it out in the
long term.
** you take my hostility as a sign to all men? lmao. that's funny. I
take
offense to someone oblivious and close minded. That fact right there is
the
decline of our civilization, thank you for being the subject and showing
your true colors. I grow tired of you and your mindless banter... go ..
away with you.. I desire no more mind numbing ramblings.

With all due respect, your mind was "numb" before your first posting.