On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 08:53:23 +1300, "Amy"
wrote:

Uggh....sounds so tacky and commercial.
A husband buying his wife a gift for his wife is tacky & commercial?
How so?

If he does want to get me something though, I liked the idea of a 'mother's'
charm bracelet, doesn't have to be expensive, but I wanted something I could
put the initials & birthstones, starsigns etc. of both children (and leave
room of course for if we have more ;-)
Wouldn't that be too tacky or commercial? Make up your mind...sheesh!


"Carla" wrote in message
.. .
Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to
me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a
couple of months ago.

Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their
wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor.

My husband asked me what I might want...I'm not a big jewelry junkie
so I really don't know. hmmmm.....

Here's an article about it that's on Fox News website:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
'Push Presents' Expected From Expectant Fathers
By Catherine Donaldson-Evans

Men who thought their lavish-jewelry duties were over after they
purchased the engagement ring might get a shock when their babies are
born. That's when it's time to shop for the "push present.

But a bouquet of flowers won't usually cut it. Nowadays, many husbands
are expected to buy expensive presents to thank their wives for
dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor.

The latest gift-giving occasion is just one more for men to add to
their list -- along with Valentine's Day (search), birthdays, holidays
and the all-important anniversary.

"My husband does not believe in jewelry, so I saw it as the perfect
opportunity to cash in on the whole societal pressure thing," laughed
Seattle mom Julie Leitner, 32, who got a white gold and diamond
bracelet in the $800-$1,500 price range when her daughter was born.

Push presents, which are usually jewelry but don't have to be, have
gained popularity in the last few years. Once one new mother gets such
a gift, her friends embrace the trend and pass the word on to their
hubbies.

"I'd been told by so many people that you're supposed to get one that
I just assumed it was the norm," said Leitner.

But many men are clueless about the concept. Some aren't even very
involved in buying the actual present.

"I wouldn't necessarily say the gift was from me," said Bruce Owen,
35, of Oakland, Calif. "[My wife] picked it out. She bought it. It was
more as if I didn't have a choice."

Owen said he didn't mind saying yes to the "baby bauble" -- a pair of
diamond-cluster earrings that cost a couple of thousand dollars --
when his 2 1/2-year-old daughter was born.

"I recognized the incredible sacrifice and difficulty of carrying a
baby for nine months," said the real estate professional.

The tradition of husbands giving their wives gifts to commemorate the
birth of a baby has some longstanding cultural roots. In England
(search), the man is expected to buy the woman an elegant ring. In
India (search), a husband bestows a set of gold jewelry upon his wife
-- offering more elaborate baubles for boy babies than girls. And
recently, some of those customs have made their way over to the U.S.

The British husband of Philadelphia mom Miryam Roddy was the one to
introduce her to the idea of birth jewelry after she had their
1-year-old daughter.

"That's the way things are done in England," said Roddy, 37, who got a
gold and diamond ring. "First he got me a rose with a little note. A
day or two later, he brought me the ring. It was such a surprise. I
didn't expect anything else."

Roddy balked at the notion of spending big money on baby baubles, and
even told her husband she hoped he hadn't dropped a bundle.

"To spend thousands of dollars on something is ridiculous," she said.
"In my mind, that's money better saved for the child's education."

Etiquette expert Pamela Holland said that unlike other gift-giving
situations, this one shouldn't have set guidelines.

"The standard is that there is no standard," she said. "It does make
sense to have etiquette around wedding or baby shower gifts because
you're inviting other people into it. But this is far too intimate to
have a rule."

In that vein, the push-present practice is passed along mainly by
word-of-mouth.

"There isn't a book or rule guide considered universal on the issue of
gift-giving at the birth of a child," said Holland. "It's like any
trend -- you hear of it, a wife mentions it to a husband and then it
gets spread down to generations."

Owen's wife, for instance, learned of the custom from her female
friends.

"It was a peer build-up with all the other ladies talking about this,"
said Owen. "It became, 'What did you get?' so obviously something had
to be done."

But the peer pressure isn't confined to groups of women. Men have also
been known to rib each other about push presents.

One New York City mom said that's what happened to her hedge-fund
analyst husband after their son was born.

"He was kind of hazed at work for not getting me anything," said the
32-year-old investment banker. "So he said, 'Do you want diamond
earrings or a weekend away?' I've never been a big jewelry person. I
picked a weekend away."

Not surprisingly, a couple's financial situation is a big factor in
deciding how to handle the push present. But budget aside, it's often
just a simple gesture of appreciation that really counts.

"My sister suggested [expensive jewelry], and I told her she was
nuts," said UPS driver Mike Compierchio, 36, of Verona, N.J., who has
a 7-month-old baby girl. "We didn't have the money to spend on some
extravagant gift. [My wife] thought it was a silly idea too. So I got
her flowers when she was in the hospital."



#1 EDD 5/14/04