In article ,
"toypup" wrote:

"bizby40" wrote in message
...

"toypup" wrote in message
. ..
I wonder if most parents of 4 yo these days drop off their kids on
playdates when they don't really know the other family? I guess I could
invite the dad (I never see the mom), but I really want it to just be a
playdate. That's all I have energy for ATM, lol.

I wouldn't have left my child with a family I didn't know at that age.
Kindergarten seems to make a world of difference.

Ah, thanks. Personally, I wouldn't leave DS with anyone I didn't know,
either. I just don't know what the rest of the world does. I'm sure I
could ask and they could say no, but I'd really like them to say yes, only
because DS loves this friend so much. They're really cute together. I
guess we could work on a time when we could all meet up. It would have to
be the families meeting, since I admit to not being comfortable only asking
the dad and having me be the only one home with the kids to meet him.

So, is the common age for playdates with stranger's kid (met only in
passing, but kids know each other) here 5 yo?

I'm not sure there IS a "common age", as in one that is generally agreed
upon. I have known parents of children in 3rd or 4th grade who would
not allow their children at anyone else's house unless they were with
them. On the other hand, when my oldest was 3, she was invited to the
home of someone I didn't know well, and I was surprised to find out that
I was expected to just drop her off and pick her up 2 hours later. (I
had wrongly assumed that the invitation was for all of us -- it was
quite disheartening, as I was fairly new in the area and had looked
forward to spending some time around another adult; plus, it was over a
1/2 hour drive, so the babies (the twins would have been about 6 months
old) and I had to spend over 2 hours in the car (over an hour for each
leg) for her to have a 2 hour play date -- and one of them HATED being
in the car!

So just make sure you are clear.

If you aren't comfortable with the dad coming into your home, you could
ask about meeting at some public place.

That's not very far away.
I'm not sure how comfy I'd be, but I'm sure that could change when I get
there.

DS has been wanting to call this friend. It's fine with me, if it's okay
with them. What do you all think of 4 yo's calling each other? It's
another one of those things where it wouldn't hurt to ask, but I like
testing the waters of public opinion first. Issues that I don't think about
sometimes pop up that way.


I was always fine with the kids talking on the phone as long as they had
learned decent telephone manners. I taught my kids to identify
themselves first, and then ask to "please speak to so and so" -- and
also to just leave a message if they were told that the person wasn't
available. (I hated it when kids called here and demanded to know WHY
so and so couldn't come to the phone, or where they were.)
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care