Thread: My concerns
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Old September 4th 08, 09:04 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
april & co[_2_]
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Default My concerns

Hi Lucy

most of your fears I had when I was pregnant and they just kind of sort
themselves out. I was totally petrified of labour because i'd had such a
hard labour with Joanna and was treated like a criminal after but on the day
although at the time the pain was horrendous I would actually do it all
again given the chance to be mum to another little one but thats not going
to happen as DH doesnt want anymore. Bad labours are horrible at the time
and took me a while to get over but it didnt affect the way I bounded with
Joanna, through all the crap I went through with her including the labour I
still bounded with her and you will to with your lo no matter what.

Have back up plans if you can for the day of the labour just incase you
can't contact the person doing the babysitting or whatever, you'll feel much
calmer if you know there are things in place to protect a breakdown.

I feared like hell how I was going to cope with the two of them, I was also
worried sick about cot death so much so it made me feel physically sick
thinking about it. I got myself in a state some nights thinking how I was
going to cope with a 2 yr old and a newborn and how I was going to protect
Harleigh from cot death ect. Well the first week I was on tender hooks at
night and wasnt happy and couldnt fall asleep if I couldnt hear Harleigh
breathing, now I'm not so worried anymore. I do as much as I can to protect
her but stressing is just going to make me worse. I've also fallen into
parenting for two really easily and I absolutly love it and you will too,
make sure you involve your little girl as much as possible. Joanna is 2 and
a half but helps with things like bottle feeding, bathing, winding and is
allowed supervised cuddles with her. She loves the baby. You might find a
little trouble with your lo as soon as baby is born but this should settle
down as long as she doesnt feel pushed aside. Joanna threw extra tantrums
and refused to eat for a while but we constantly told her how loved she was
and made her important in the babies life as well and shes back to her
normal self. You'll be fine.

april

"lu-lu" wrote in message
...
I posted before about the fact I was finding this pregnancy emotionally
difficult to deal with, and last night I think I addressed some of my
issues
with DH, but he doesn't really deal with emotional stuff too well, and I
didn't really get to have a chat with him, so I thought I'd air my poor
brains here if that's ok.

My first worry might sound silly, but I'm worried about having a boy. For
more than 2 years, I've been a mother to a little girl, and I've got used
to
that. I know what I'm doing with her, and being a girl myself, I have a
better understanding. It's not that I don't want a boy, but having a boy
is
a definite issue with me at the moment. I really wanted a boy last time,
and
I always wanted Jessie to have a brother as I love having brothers, but
now
I'm worried about it. I worry that they'll have nothing in common, or that
I
won't know how to respsond to his needs ect.

My next worry is labour. I had a fabulous labour with Jessica. For the
most
part it ws silent, and so I was able to enjoy the experience without pain
relief, and by the time it did get painful, it was nearly over, and I
still
enjoyed it. I liked that I was induced (although I *hated when I went
overdue lol!) as I was in hospial when labour started and it was all nice
and calm. This time I'm terrified of going into labour naturally. I don't
know how I'd know the difference between severe BHs and real contractions.
I
worry about not getting Jessie to the babysitters, or myself to the
hospital. I worry that I won't be able to get hold of DH in time, or that
I'd be at work. I also worry that my wonderful experience of labour with
Jessica will be spoilt by a painful/difficult labour this time.

I've moved house since I had Jessica and I have different midwives &
health
visitors. I've not even seen a Health Visitor for more than a couple of
minutes, and that was when I registered. She made it clear that they don't
really bother with babies over 12 months here. Before, I could attend a
Tuesday clinic whenever I wanted a bit of advice, or just to weigh her.
The
midwifery service is the same. I have my first appointment today for more
than 12 weeks. And I don't have a named midwife, just whichever one
happens
to be around at the time.... Before, when I had a named midwife, I felt
able
to express my cocerns etc and confide in her, and was pleased when she did
the first home visits after the birth... This time I feel a bit
abandoned..
Also, with your second child here, rather than seeing the HV, apparently
you
just get put on the community nurses's list.

I think Jessie will take to the new baby well. I've explained to her the
best that I can that there's a baby in mummy's tummy and involved whenever
I've bought anything for the baby, and she understands what's hers and
what
belongs to the baby, but I worry that she'll get overlooked by others when
the baby arrives. I love spending time with her, even just at nap time
when
we lie on the bed together. I stress about the baby interrupting that, and
about me having the opposite reaction to everyone else, and overlooking
him
to look after Jessica.

I don't know, I know that they're probably all silly concerns and that
I'll
get over it, but I'm really scared of pregnancy etc this time - where as
last time I was going into it feeling confident and calm. But that's when
I
had idealistic fantasies of looking after this little baby, Now I wonder
how
I'm going to cope with two of them, with my DH at work. I've got used to
having a big child, and I'm going to be scared of having such a little
baby
again.

Oh well. Thanks for the brain airing space Sorry for going on.

Lucy x