On Mar 12, 1:45 am, wrote:
Hello,

I have a 13 year old son in eigth grade who has stopped interacting
with his friends almost completely in the last 8-12 months. I was shy
as a child, and he always has been too but he always had a few friends
that he did things with occasionally. At times, he's had close
friends. He's not particularly good at sports. He's getting all A's
and B's in school and I don't have to bug him much to do his
homework. He's well behaved and healthy which makes me feel lucky!
SNIP

Have you tried to talk to him about it? Sometimes, if you're just
*there* with them -- watching a TV show, playing a video game, even
cooking dinner, boys will open up in a way that they won't if you ask
them a question directly.

Have you also spoken to his teachers? How is he interacting with the
other kids at school? Is he being picked on? Is he withdrawn? Is he
engaging in inappropriate behavior? How is he doing with group
projects?

One thing that really struck me is that he enjoys hanging out with his
little brother (and presumably with his brother's friends). 13 can be
such a funny age. At 13, there are kids who are full-fledged teens,
and there are other kids who are still little boys. Is it possible
that your son is just a little behind the curve of his peers, so he
really doesn't have all that much in common with them for the moment?
I lost interest in a lot of my old friends at that age for just those
reasons. I was secretly playing with dolls while they were having
make-out parties and smoking.

I wouldn't push him to see people whom he'd really rather not see.
After all, it may turn out that he has excellent reasons for that!
(Sex and drugs would not be unheard of at that age.) Instead, maybe
you could encourage him to join a club, or participate in some
activity where he could meet people with whom he would enjoy spending
time. If you can't think of anything, maybe it could be a father-son
activity, in which other father-son pairs participate.

Good luck.

Barbara