ParentingBanter.com - View Single Post - Need Advice: Breastfeeding with 3 older (13+) stepson's

**Ericka Kammerer**

wrote:
It only takes my daughter about 10 minutes to breastfeed and I feel
that a teenage boy is old enough to understand and wait 10 minutes. I
think he will appreciate that more than seeing his step-mom breastfeed.
It is a little different than if is was your own mother. I know
because one day the door was open while I was feeding my daughter and
my step-son came to talk to me and he looked SO uncomfortable.

Well, it's certainly your prerogative to do as you
please, but this still sounds *very* odd to me. I just
can't even begin to fathom what is so horrible about breastfeeding
that one can't do it in front of *anyone*, much less someone
living in one's own home.
And of *course* he would be uncomfortable. He's
never seen anyone breastfeed (in large part because you've kept
it secret), and the clear implication of hiding it away is that
it's something that *needs* to be hidden away. He's being
*taught* that it's something that's so icky that he *ought*
to be embarrassed to see it. If it wasn't embarrassing, you
wouldn't hide it away.

What I don't think some women understand is that these are step-sons
we're talking about and they have a biological mother. And being a
step-mother, you're constantly under watch by the biological mother,
even if you get along with one another. And I just don't need a son
complaining to his mother that he is uncomfortable seeing me
breastfeed. She might not appreciate that.

I can understand that if there's a biological mother
in the picture who is prone to going ballistic then perhaps
you have to consider irrational things. Still, it *is*
(IMO) completely irrational. I doubt I can even count the
number of children and teens, male and female, related and
unrelated that I've nursed in front of--without a single
problem, ever.

And when I told my step-son "you don't want to know", he replied "no, I
don't". It was just one of those things he asked, but then realized it
made him uncomfortable and I could see that. I don't hide anything
from them, they've seen me wash parts of the pump. I just don't feel
it is my place as a step-mom to explain it to them. I also never
talked to them about sex because that's their parent's job. I just
don't want to step on anyone's toes.

shrug Clearly, I'm just not going to get this.
I'd explain to anyone, related or not, if they wanted to
know how something worked (in age-appropriate terms, of
course). What's so all-fired touchy about the whole thing?
The thought of a teenager literally not knowing how
breastfeeding or pumping works is shocking to me.

Best wishes,
Ericka