" wrote:


Rosalie B. wrote:

I don't agree. It isn't possible for each child to be enough older to
another child to observe breast feeding in the family. One of them
has to be the youngest. And in my case, although I am the oldest, my
sister is only 2 years younger, so I don't remember anything about my
mom bfing. Ditto with my mom who was only 2 years older than her
brother. My mom successfully bf two children, and my sister (the
youngest) and I successfully bf her seven grandchildren.

Successful breast feeding does NOT depend AT ALL on whether it has
been observed in the family. There are lots of other possibilities
between a book, and familial observation.

Perhaps that depends on what you consider successful. I had no

I consider it successful if you do it for at least 3 weeks - longer if
possible. My mom bf me and my sister until weaned to a cup. I bf 4
children - for a year when she self-weaned, 8 months (when I went
without her on a long trip of 6 weeks), 14 months (when we moved) and
3.5 years.

My oldest daughter bf three children, my second daughter had a little
more trouble with the first one, but did the 2nd one until she had to
go back to work. She is an airline pilot and so could not pump while
on the job, so the babies had to be weaned then. My third daughter bf
three children.

If you consider that only completely problem free bfing is successful,
I think very few people would meet that criteria.

knowledge whatsoever from my mum who partially bf'd 4 babies, it just
wasn't something that we ever talked about. I did learn a little from

My mom was very supportive of us when we were moms. My older children
got to observe my bfing my son who was 10 years younger than the
oldest. I never pumped - did not even consider it, so they had no
knowledge of that, and had to pick up that on their own.

my sister but what I really got from her experience was - well, if she
can do it, I damn well can. I fought with a lot of practical and
embarrassment issues, and I think if I had had no support or good
experiences to learn from I could have easily given up. We are now at
14 months and one morning bf.

At first I was embarrassed and did hide in the bedroom, but that was
because I wasn't confident at bf'ing and needed space to work on it
unobserved. When things improved my approach was to ask adults if they
minded me feeding ds in the room, and they all said no. Or, if it was
someone I knew would be uncofmrtable I would say, 'oh I think he needs
a feed' and the would drift off into the garden for a long fag. When
my sisters kids were here a few weeks after ds was born and I was still
struggling a little with a smooth latch, I went up to the bedroom to
feed. My neice, who was 9 at the time, was fascinated by *everything*
about ds and promptly followed me up to watch. My nephew, 7, came up a
few minutes later. He looked at me and said 'uggh, that's gross'. I
laughed because I thought it was cute. When we went downstairs I told
my sister what he had said and she reminded him in a jokey way that he
had loved drinking her milk. He made a face, but he wasn't embarrased
and neither was anyone else.It was very lighthearted and reflective of
the gentle but honest way my sister and husband approach difficult
subjects. I think her kids are better for their honesty.

My approach if I was in my own home was to allow whoever was visiting
to deal with it. It was MY home. [unless it was someone I wasn't
interested in interacting with them in which case I'd retire to the
bedroom].

Of course in my day, we didn't go out AT ALL until after the baby was
3 weeks, and we stayed in the hospital for three or four days after
delivery. So I wasn't dealing with being out in public for several
weeks.
I agree with Frisbee that teeneagers shouldn't be ashamed of their
hormones (and I don't think anyone was saying that!) but also that
women shouldn't be ashamed to bf'd because of them. They *will* get
over it. If it is presetned as something shamful they will always see
it that way - and *that* is damaging to any future wife/gf who might
want to bf'd but not have the support of that man. With practice it is
easy to bf'd discreetly, I have seen plenty of new mums do it. For me
it was embarrasing at first but that was because it wasn't familiar to
me. If I ever had no. 2 I would have no hesitations - it's better than
a screeming baby and people staring at you or faffing about with
bottles.

Jeni

grandma Rosalie

Mom to 4
(dd#1 age 45, dd#2 age 43, dd#3 age 38, ds age 35)

grandmom to 10
(dgs age 26, dgd age 24, dgs would be 15 if still living,
dgs age 13, dgs age 12, dgs age 12, dgd age 10, dgs age 8,
dgd age 6, dgd age 5 and dgd b Dec 2005)