Jill,
I think this is one of those times where you have to pick your battles --
forget about the bottle nipple as pacifier -- it probably worked out okay,
and isn't going to have any major long term repercussions. BUT, the car
seat buckling is huge, and the poopy wipes/diapers issue is more than
annoying, it's a cleanliness issue. Rearranging the furniture and putting
Rachel in "nice" clothes instead of onesies is also just annoying, but not
going to potential harm her in any way.

Is this type of behavior out of context for your mom? Is it new, or is the
typical of what you've been dealing with your whole life? If this is new,
you might want to get her checked out by her doctor -- it sounds like she
might have something going on, mentally. If this is par for the course,
you're going to have to lay down the law with her -- she needs to do
specific things your way, or risk not being able to have any alone time with
Rachel, and at worst, having no contact with either of you at all. Period.
I'd stick with the car seat buckling as the first and foremost issue, and
then try to deal with the poopy wipes/cloth diapers issue, but don't even
bring up the nipple or clothes or rearranging stuff issues. Stick to the
really important issues. If she can't get those right, you're going to have
to severely limit her contact with Rachel. Rachel's safety is far more
important than her feelings.

Hugs.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

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