View Single Post
  #94  
Old July 22nd 03, 03:25 PM
Lisa aka Surfer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)


wrote in message
. net...
Cele wrote:
I don't think you can expect much from 'the system'.


What? Oh, Nooooo!

I'm screwed. LOL.

Whatever's gone wrong before is over, it's written, it's
done. You can't affect it. Walk away from it. Work on the now. It's
all you can do. For him and for yourself.

And be well.


What is it with people who can not see that history repeats itself unless
you actively seek to stop the cycles? I've been in therapy so much that

it
is just so clear to me that my son saw me be abused as a child so that is
what was role modeled for him and now he is acting that out as he becomes

a
man. Also, he is reacting to me as I only know how to live with a man

from
a victim's stand point, I have lots of male friends that I keep at a
distance but living with one is a different story. You can't just "let it
go" or "forget about it" or "put it in the past" abuse isn't like that.
History isn't like that. Time isn't like that. If only it were that
simple. But it isn't, it is very convoluted. The rest of your post was
right on, depressing though, as I was really hoping "the system" was going
to save us. damn.



Lorian,,,,,try re-reading Cele's post. My thought was,,,,if ever there was
a post this girl needs to keep it's this one.

You really really need to move along to doing something proactive to make
things right in your family's life. What other people know, understand,
think means **** all. It's perception. Stop wallowing and start parenting
your kid before he finds himself in more trouble than stealing your car and
quitting school.

No one is going to do it for you.

Lisa