Very nice information to have. Do you have a link to these stats?

Thanks
"Rambler" wrote in message
...
xkatx wrote:
"Rambler" wrote in message
...

Father of the Year wrote:

new to group. What is a deadbeat dad?

it is usually somebody who has been flailed to a ninch of their life by
being accused of being insensitive to their child's needs while in fact
they are struggling to put food on the table for themselves whilest
being
commanded to make good sized (for their incomes) support payments.


No, not always. That sure might be the case sometimes, but other times
a
deadbeat parent could be just that. Sometimes a deadbeat parent just
doesn't feel they need to live up to their parenting responsibilities.
That's not always meaning money wise. I would consider a deadbeat
parent as
someone who just does nothing. I'm sorry, it doesn't take much money to
spend some time with your own child and show them love and that they
are, in
fact, a human being. There's a lot of 'parents' - both mothers AND
fathers - who just don't give a damn. It goes both ways, but it seems
that
you just hear about the dads more than the moms. There's selfish
parents
both ways, and it's not fair to say that every parent who cannot afford
to
support their children is a deadbeat. It does go so much further than
that,
because there's also lots of parents who choose not to help with their
children and have more than enough means to survive well, while helping
out
financially with their children.
Support payments are only a part of a child's needs.


I typically refer to it as "Beat Dad Dead" in my affidavits, and yes,
the
ex has thrown that term around to everybody, kids included.


I don't agree with that. I, personally, believe whatever I think and
feel
negatively about my ex stays to myself, or to the ears of MY
friends/family
without the ears of my children around. I have never once said a single
negative word about my sons' father for them to hear, nor have I ever
said
anything negative to someone who would pass my words on to them. There
are
a lot of parents, as well, who do the same, and then on the other hand,
there are some who have no problem insulting their child's other parent
and
vocalize whatever anger they may have. I do believe, in every way
possible,
that this is so wrong and unfair to the child, even more to the other
half
of that child.

Always two sides to a coin. My ex would evidently be the opposite side
of the coin to you.

but leaving you and me out of it, the studies that I have heard of and
read indicate that a very small minority of fathers don't pay the child
support ordered when they fully have the means to. The vast majority of
no-payors are those that cannot afford it due to either unemployment,
health or an order being set outside of their earning potential. Those
that pay what they can *are still* labeled deadbeat dads.

Flip that around a second, not according to you and me, but according
again to the studies I have read and heard of. The vast majority (89%?)
of custody decisions go to mothers, which means the vast majority (89%)
of child maintenance payors are fathers. Out of the 11% of mothers who
are supposed to be paying child support, a much greater number (over 30%
comes to mind) are "dead beat Mom's" than are the fathers (1 to 2%) who
are "dead beat Dads," yet you don't hear the phrase "Dead Beat Mom" do
you?

But those are just the studies.

Rambler