"melbgal1" wrote in message
...
says...

I haven't wanted to be a total downer on this thread, but have been
reading
it and remembering my pregnancy with Nathan. I only got to 24 weeks,
and in
that last 4 weeks he began to kick like a madman. It was magical, and
so
sad, because it was supposed to be such a happy time. Then, after I'd
given
birth to him, I too, felt empty and hollow. I still had some phantom
kicks
and tickles, and was constantly touching my belly, in hopes that it was
all
a mistake, and he was still in there. And I didn't have a beautiful
little
baby to distract and engage me.

It's coming up on 6 years since we lost Nathan, and I'll always miss the
magic belly. It was such a blessing that I had it at all, and part of
me is
still bummed that I'll likely not have it again.

That's a very sad story, Jamie
Was Nathan a stillborn ?

I hope you are blessed again with the magic belly.
Take care.

Sort of. We found out at our 18 week u/s that Nathan was developing with a
giant omphalocele -- the majority of his internal organs were in a pouch
outside his abdomen. We had an amnio to see if his chromosomes were normal,
and went for a detailed echocardiogram, to see how his heart was doing. His
heart wasn't as strong as they would have liked, but his chromosomes were
normal. We continued with testing, u/s, and talking to various pediatric
surgeons, and finally made the tough choice to end the pregnancy. The more
we looked into his condition, the more small problems we found (fluid on the
heart and lungs, twisted spine, etc), until it just became clear (for us)
that he wouldn't likely survive to term. I went through labor and delivery
a week or so later, at about 23w4d, and Nathan was born still.

Since losing Nathan, I've had 5-6 chemical pregnancies, and 2 blighted
ovums, plus a donor egg IVF (one of the blighted ovums) and a failed IVF.
Apparently I've got an immunity issue that prevents me from staying
pregnant. I'm sort of done with the whole ttc thing, and have moved on to
adoption as the way to build my family. So unless I have an oops that goes
well past the heartbeat phase, the chances of me having another magic belly
moment are slim to none!

Thanks for your compassion and asking about it.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clark_guest,
Password: Guest1
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Handmade Baby Blankets -- www.geocities.com/digit_the_cat/Blankets.html