In article . com,
"hbar" wrote:

Hello,

We live in Israel and today were in the elevator together with a man of
(presumably) Ethiopian descent. My 6 year old son said to him "Your
ancestors were from Africa" . The man was really nice and said "That's
right, where are you from?" and my son launched into a discussion of
the many countries in which he has lived.

In the past (about 2 years ago) my son went through a very short phase
of commenting more directly about peoples apperance (e.g. why does that
man sit in a wheelchair, why does that man have dark skin). I explained
that it was impolite and could make people feel self-conscious and he
could ask me such questions quietly in private and he soon stopped.

Do you think his comment today was inappropriate? Should I tell him
that it is not polite to make such comments? I'm not quite sure how to
respond to what happened or if I need to respond at all.


Personally, I see nothing wrong with what your son said, assuming it was
a situation where it was OK for him to talk to this man at all. (Some
people would find it unacceptable for a 6 yo to address a stranger.
Clearly, the man in question had no problem with it.) He was making a
factual statement, and one that I can't imagine anyone being offended by.

But then, most of the comments you report your son making earlier aren't
a problem, as far as I'm concerned. I use an electric cart when I am
shopping, and sometimes a cane when I am out and about. It isn't
uncommon for small children to ask me why, and I'm fine with answering,
as are most people I know who struggle with obvious physical
limitations.

Yes, as kids get older they need to learn that it is generally
considered impolite to comment at all on other people's appearance, and
they should ask their parents questions later. But when they are
little, they are so curious about EVERYTHING -- I don't find their
honest curiosity a problem.

(A 3 yo of my acquaintance once horrified her parents by asking me why
my arms were so fat. I thought it was an honest question, though I know
as she gets older she will need to learn to not use the word "fat" when
describing others. She was quite satisfied with my answer: "Because
skinny arms would look silly on my fat body.")

--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care