"Donna Metler" wrote:


Having said that, my guess is that this 10 yr old really doesn't want to be
there. snip, and it may simply be that she
doesn't want to play piano, but mom thinks it's a good idea.

My second child was like this. She had private lessons (sequenced
with her sister) and she did not like to practice the piano. It was
the same in ice skating, horseback riding, sewing and most things. She
wasn't as good at some things as her older sister because her sister
was older and had better small motor coordination so she got disgusted
and wouldn't try. She hates sewing now and won't do it. She quit
riding at least three times. She once started to walk home from the
riding stable (10 miles) when I dropped her off to take a lesson
because she was determined that she wasn't going to ride. Riding
scared her, but each time she didn't want her sister doing something
she wasn't doing and would go back

The things where her sister got tense trying to do well, she would be
loose as a goose and do better than her sister (ice skating and
swimming). She was extremely competitive, very emotional and very
strong willed. Her sister was more compliant although she didn't
like it when she was beaten either. After she graduated from HS, dd#2
stated that her goal was to graduated with a higher class rank than
dd#1, and dd#1's comment was - I didn't know it was a competition!!

In any case, I often had instructors refuse to teach her. Piano was
one of those things, and so was ice skating.

One of the reasons that I decided physical punishment was not the way
to go (although it was how I was brought up), was that she would
defiantly say "That didn't hurt", although I knew it did. I had to
pick my battles.

If the child doesn't want to play and the mother wants her to,
threatening to take her home is not a punishment, and probably an
action that the mom doesn't want to take although maybe she thinks she
ought to due to the other parent's attitudes.. How about just
unplugging her keyboard if it is too loud? Is that possible? Or
some incentive to get her to want to behave.