"Zaz" wrote in message
.. .
Oh well.. I should have known. I always knew, in fact, but it doesn't
change the sore feelings.

You see, DH and I have decided to build a brand new house in a brand new
residential development. The house will be constructed from scratch, we
have chosen a very nice and large site, where we will be planting apple
trees, sugar maple, etc. It is very exciting for us, and we were dreaming
of raising a large family in our new home when Little One came into being.
Needless to say, the dream of a family being now quite more real, we are
even more thrilled.

But. There is always a but. My mother reacted very strongly against our
house-building project. I suppose she would have liked us to consult with
her before taking the final decision, but I did not deem it necessary, and
anyway she has been living in the same house for the past 32 years, so I
don't see how she could really be of help. Anyway. I tried to understand
her and tried to imagine my reaction if Mlle C came one day and announced
to me she bought a big house. I would feel sad in a way: I would feel as
if I wasn't close enough to her that she would talk to me about it before
doing anything. But I would not get mad at her, as my mother has at me.
Anyway.

As I was telling this to my favorite aunt, in whom I confided being
pregnant, I asked her to promise me she wouldn't tell my mother I'm
expecting. And she said she would never, my mother having said, after
complaining about her housing project: "Well, she better not come and tell
me she's pregnant NOW, or she'll never hear the end of me!"

So. I haven't told my mother I'm pregnant. And I don't want to. At the
same time, I feel sad that once again, I will live a pregnancy without the
support of my mother. DH says "The Hell with her", and he's right. But
it's easier said than done, and I feel this great sadness over me
sometimes...


--

Isabelle
Mom to Mlle C, Nov. 27, 2004
Expecting Little One on June 7, 2006

Lots of us are living through pregnancies without our mothers for different
reasons. I am without my mother because she suffers from extreme
schizophrenia and dimentia and is no longer in my life. It is a sore spot
for me, and I am saddened by it. But I have chosen to build my own happy
and functional family, and to put my focus there. There comes a time when
we HAVE to branch out and build our own lives, and it is not fair to us and
our families to have to be held back or dragged down by family issues. Love
your mom, include her in whatever capacity YOU feel comfortable with, but
PLEASE realize that your life and your family should come first.

Betsy