In article ,
dragonlady says...

In article ,
Banty wrote:

In article , John Dalberg says...

I am having an issue this week with my 2 1/2 boy who started biting other
kids at the day care. Today he bit a kid so hard he broke skin and my wife
had to pick him because he was isolated. We have told him numerous times
that this was 'not ok'.

I don't know if he's frustrated, stressed or angry. He seems to be happy
all the time and we take very good care of him at home. Sometimes he bites
his mother to 'show affection'. We always tell him 'do not bite' or 'no
biting'. When we ask him why he's biting, he doesn't have an answer and
looks puzzled.

I wanted to know how others manage this issue. I am thinking of scolding
him and take away some of his privilages.

What are best ways to make him stop biting? I don't want this behaviour to
advance into serious problems later.

TIA

I had this problem with my son at that age, and was able to fix it. HOW I
fixed
it will sound very strange, so hear me out.

At two, the child bites because it feels good to his mouth, and he gets an
amusing reaction from the folks he bites. He does NOT connect the pain
others
are feeling with his bite. Not at two and a half. So, not to worry - this
isn't
a little sociopath in the making This is very, very common.

How you fix it - bite him back immediately after he bites you (or your wife
do
it - whichever he bites first.) Maybe repeat a time or two if he does it
again.

This is *sorta* a punishment, but not really - it's how you get him to
associate
his bite with the pain it causes. It's not like spanking or anything like
that.
It's a first simple lesson in empathy - connecting his action to pain it
causes.
Bite him enough to have him feel the sting of it, then state calmly that
that's
why he should not bit other people, because that's how it feels when he does
it
to t hem.

Don't do it in anger; it's a demonstration.

Banty (I still remember my son with tears, rubbing his arm, nodding silently
with my exaplanation when I did that - awwwwww)


Personally, I don't like the idea of an adult biting a child to show
that biting is wrong, any more than I think it's a good idea to hit a
kid to show that hitting is wrong.

OTOH, I can remember Brazelton saying that the quickest way to stop a
biter was to put them in a playpen with ANOTHER biter.


Biting-by-proxy!

Banty