Jasper wrote:
My wife called me today hysterically crying. She picked up our 2 yr
old daughter from daycare today, and was told that Isabella bit another

child, pulled hair, was put in time-out 5 times, basically had a
really, really bad day. And apparently she was not very good the day
before. Isabella is our first, and we spoil her rotten, but she's
always been very good, outgoing, friendly, playful etc, all along with
a strong personality. But we're not sure what's going on, and more
importantly, how to fix this behavior. I've read that "time outs"
don't really work until about 3, and just telling her it's wrong, and
that she's hurting someone else doesn't seem to be getting through.
Any advice would be great, especially for my wife who is having a
breakdown over this. She doesn't want Isabella to be the "problem
child" at daycare.

ConcernedDaddy

A TWO year old?

Other than beating her senseless the ONLY effective way to "control" two
year olds is with direct supervision/intervention, and modifying the
environment.

You put up what you don't want touched, and you provide close enough
proximity to intervene in situations such as you describe.

I can't believe that day care operators get away with, some of them.

You need a new daycare that has enough trained staff that the child can
be quickly physically separated AND, most important, there will be
adequate adult/child interaction (doesn't even always need to be more
than passive) to satisfy what she is clearly demonstrating. A NEED.

Biting and hair pulling are exhibits of frustration. Two year olds are
continually frustrated. In fact your kid may be more advanced than the
others developmentally if they are all behaving nicely and she isn't.

She likely needs to be experimenting with her environment at a higher
rate than other kids around her. That IS how we develop.

Frustrating that results in a cranky child. Mother nature will NOT be
stopped without some biting, screaming, and crying. And boy, does SHE
pull hair when you try to stop normal behavior in a two year old.

And any day care that puts two year olds together and allows such things
to happen doesn't know its business.

A child is not even ready to DO socialization cooperative play until age
four. Any that does happen is accidental or from careful close proximity
supervision.

Sorry to rant about this, but if the day care is NOT going to be
respectful of child development reality, YOU should get the books and
read up on what to expect of two year olds and find another more
competent day care. They are out there, and a delight to observe. Such
things as you tell here do NOT happen in those that know what they are
doing.

Best wishes, Kane




--
"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what
to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb
contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin (or someone else)