"Jenrose" wrote in message
...

a) With your nipple or your finger (finger if she fights being at the
breast, nipple if she's okay being up to your breast), tickle her lip. If
she opens wide, she can suck. If she doesn't, don't force the issue and
don't let her nibble her way on. You're asking permission to put something
in her mouth and she's giving it or not.

Please let me wade in on this with my unique perspective: One of my twins
became extremely orally defensive/aversive in part (but only in part)
because we continued to force a bottle nipple into her mouth over her
protests, for weeks. (She had congenital defects to her stomach, and a very
sensitive gag reflex that also contributed.) It's extremely important to
understand that you cannot make a child enjoy eating by forcing it, any more
than you can (pardon my graphic parallel here) than you can make someone
enjoy sex by forcing it on them.

c) Do not push anything into her mouth, period.

A baby experiences their whole world through their mouth. If they decide
that mouth = negative, then you're setting yourself, and your baby, up for
all kinds of grief you really don't want to find out about. Like g-tubes,
and years of therapy, which my daughter has, and has been going to now for 3
1/2 years.

Now, please don't panic. My situation is a worst-case scenario, compounded
by many factors that aren't there in your case. But do listen to these wise
ladies here. I don't think your sitution is unresolvable at this point, by
any means. *I* don't have any advice on how best to overcome your problems
because I didn't overcome them (had bad advice, plus other stuff.) But I
believe these ladies here can help.

--angela