On Dec 6, 5:10 pm, "Stephanie" wrote:

snip

I wonder what difference it makes what the other kids are doing.
(PollyAnna!!) But really, the notion of goals and acheivement *should* be
personal. Right now I am working on X. I want to achieve Y. How is my
progress...

I think there is a sex difference such that males are more motivated
by competition than females are, on average. Many educators, such as
those in the OP's school, frown on competition nowadays, and this may
be partly explain why boys have fallen behind girls in academic
achievement. Christina Hoff Sommers discussed this in a book "The War
Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men".

I've seen otherwise intelligent men on trading floors engage in eating/
drinking contests. I doubt a group of women would do that.

I know I was a fairly competitive student by high school -- I didn't
just want A's but to be the top student in every individual class. I
did not succeed in the latter, but the goal may have motivated me to
work harder than I otherwise would have.