In article ,
(Nevermind) wrote:

"Rosalie B." wrote
I personally would let him go, but ask the other mom both to make sure
he gets time alone if he gets cranky, and also to let you know so he
can come home if he gets too homesick. But DON'T tell him that
because I think that will mean that you expect him to fail.

Actually, he can't come home if he gets homesick. Only in an emergency
would we drive that far away to pick him up before the trip was over.

I feel more inclined to let him go, but my DH really doesn't. I feel
my DH is overcautious and too loathe to let go (he didn't want him
going on overnights until he was 8 -- he's our oldest), but the fact
is that I don't want to force the issue and then have my DH spend the
week feeling extremely nervous about our son. The issue of missing him
is one I think we would have to accept; it wouldn't be fair to prevent
him from doing something good for that reason alone. But my DH just
doesn't think he should be away from us for that long, that far away,
at that age. I will talk to him one more time about it today, but if
he still feels "no" as a gut reaction, I guess I'll have to go with it
even if I don't quite agree.


I guess I'd talk to DH about what he thinks could be a problem with him
going with a friend's familiy for a week. What does he think will go
wrong? Is he afraid your son will get homesick? Is he afraid that
he'll lose touch with you and DH? Does he think your son will misbehave
without you and DH there to keep him in line?

And what age DOES he think is OK to spend a week away? Or what sort of
things would your son have to do to prove he's old enough? I find that
sometimes asking myself those questions (or, when DH and I have
disagreed, asking him) has helped us identify the source of our
discomfort, and helped us to either change our minds or confirm our
original decision.

I would also suggest he do some "reality checks" with other parents of
kids your son's age (what you are doing here). Whenever my kids told me
that I was being too restrictive/out of touch, I'd talk to friends who
had kids the same age or a little older. Most of the time, I was able
to come back and tell my kids they were wrong -- that LOTS of other
parents had the same restrictions I did. Once in a while, I had to come
back and tell them they were right -- my friends had convinced me that I
was being overly cautious, and most kids their age WERE allowed to [fill
in the blank]. At that point, I had to put things in place to make ME
feel more comfortable, and let it go.

In this case, maybe insisting on a phone call every day at a set time
would make his Dad more comfortable.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care