Roger Schlafly wrote:
"Wendy Marsden" wrote
I've even heard of parents who resent picky eaters LYING to children
about peanuts thinking the kid just doesn't LIKE them and they will like
them if they try them.

No doubt some parents also do the reverse -- tell the kid that some
dessert has peanuts in it just to deter the kid from wanting the dessert.

I just tell the kid the truth. Even a 3-year-old can understand it.

I agree you should tell the truth about peanuts in food. I think you are
undermining her ability to trust you about peanuts if you say something
can't be eaten 'cuz it will kill her when you just don't want her having
another snack before dinner.

But I think you are wrong that a three year old can understand the truth
(and make appropriate decisions from it.)

The reason why you can't let her monitor her own food is that:

1.) You can't trust her to research enough to discover if there really is
some peanut product in it

2.) You can't trust other adults to monitor for peanuts adequately AND

3.) You cannot trust that she will make appropriate decisions from the
information she has, i.e., someday she will get curious about what the
effect REALLY is, or someone will taunt her to try it, or she's be
depressed and thinking, "what the hell, I don't care".

You see, children have poor judgment. It's a hallmark of a child. That's
why kids use guns they KNOW they aren't supposed to touch. That's why
they drink and drive. That's why they do all sorts of stupid **** -
because they make bad decisions.

You are fooling yourself terribly if you thinking that KNOWING the facts
and behaving maturely go hand in hand.

Wendy