Bob Whiteside wrote:
She found that there are two significant motivators that drive women's
desire to kick men out of the house. First, the virtually guaranteed
ability to gain primary custody of children is an emotional motivator which
provides women with emotional stability once the man is gone. And second,
to predictability of CS awards is a financial motivator which provides women
with financial security once the man is gone.

Sheesh. And to think I left my husband because he was a lying abusive
cross-dresser. That my sister left her husband because he gambled away
everything they had including their house and children's future. That
another sister left hers because after 25 years of public intimidation
and humiliation, she realised she didn't have to put up with it.

I guess we sisters should have read Dr. Margaret F. Brinig first,
because none of us receives child support - we each have three
children, we each have independent careers, we support our own
families, and we receive diddly-squat from our ex's. (And yes, the ex's
all spend regular time with the children, at least two nights a week,
and in all cases it's the children's decision how much time they spend
with each parent). And we're happy enough with the arrangements.

On the other hand, my new partner pays $3K a month to his ex-wife, who
literally stole the children away to another state overnight, and he
gets to see them all of 4 weeks a year (but only if he barely eats, so
he can afford the airfares). The $3K is based on (apparently) "what is
costs to keep 3 children of that age." Jesus! That's more than most
familes *earn* in a month!!

It's a complex situation, there's no black and white, and there's no
generalities you can apply. Suggesting that "women kick men out for the
cash incentives" is ill-informed and quite frankly, a bit stupid.

I don't know what the magic answer is (I don't think there is one), but
certainly allocating blame (either universally to her, or universally
to him) is not going to resolve anything and help anyone.

Cathryn.