Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward wrote:

What is the practice where you live?

Personally I don't care about what the "practice" is where I live. We
did not attend parties until the kids started turning 2, nor did we
invite anyone to J's 1st party. I sort of feel that the "number of
friends per year of age" is appropriate (though J had 3 kids in
attendance at his 2nd party) and I am consistently flabberghasted by
people who invite 40-50 people to their kid's first birthday party. It
just seems tacky to me.

As for gifts, I respect the hosts' wishes but I would bring a hostess
gift, as I always do. Most of the time this is a bottle of local wine
or a bouquet of fresh flowers.

-L.