beeswing wrote:
When is the age where you, as a parent, should start to give in and let the
child make her own media choices, TV in particular, whether or not you agree
with them (within reason)? I'm not suggesting letting The Kid watch "Debbie
Does Dallas," but we got into a major row this weekend over "Pokemon: The Movie
2000." I still dislike and disapprove of Pokemon, but I have gotta question
whether *that* was worth the energy, at her age (9).

Getting into the merits (or lack thereof) of Pokemon isn't what I'm after. It's
enough to say that I and her dad haven't been letting her watch it (and
similar, related programs) because of violence, on my part, and crass
commercialism and merchandizing, on both our parts. And there are other things
we haven't let her watch as well for other reasons, of course. So let's move
past the discussion of Pokemon specifically, if we can, and talk about at what
age you hand over the TV reins. (The same issue applies to books read, movies
attended, and bunches of other stuff.) When does the issue go from your first
priority, as a parent, being supervising your kid's media input and move over
to "choosing your battles" and keeping them to a minimum? And how far do you
budge? How do you know where to put the new lines in the sand -- and how do you
go about justifying those?

It doesn't help that there was a kid in her class at school rattling off a list
of movies and programs my kid has never seen. I don't want my kid to be a media
pariah, but on the other hand "everybody else gets to watch it" isn't a very
strong argument in my book.

Frankly, I'm feeling quite lost at being a mom of a growing tween.

Join the club

DD, at almost 11, is way too much into American Idol, IMNSHO.
But she still watched a lot of it. That and the Simpsons
(which we watch together) is her television repertoire (it helps
that we don't get cable or good TV reception). It also helps
that the TV is in our (unfinished) basement -- a very
inconvenient place to watch. I think it really helps control
TV viewing if watching the TV is not the default activity.
If your kid says "I'm bored" and you say "watch some TV" --
well, that's hardly optimal in my book. (I usually say
"I wasn't put on this Earth to entertain you.") I would feel
comfortable handing over viewing reins to her now, almost;
I don't think she'll watch a lot, actually, and I can always
take the reins back. In fact, I could stipulate, handing over
the reins, that they may be removed if she abuses the
priviledge.

Most of DD's current lobbying efforts are to see PG-13 movies,
anyway. So far fruitless lobbying. She really wants/wanted
to see Mean Girls, the Lindsay Lohan movie, but she never did.
Maybe when it's on video. The raciest movie she's seen so
far, I think, is Victor/Victoria -- I FF'ed through Lesley
Warren's number, though.

As far as peer pressure goes, that toxic little classmate
of hers sounds like a piece of work. DD and I have talked
about people like that, and she knows I don't cotton to
doing things because other people are trying to make me
feel somehow lessened because of things I have or have
not done. I hope she's suitably innoculated against that
kind of thing. We'll see for sure next year in Middle School.

Scott DD 10.9 and DS 8.4