I don't think you are being little or petty.

My husband's mother is extremely like this, and we have *very* limited
contact. She was trying to manipulate us and get in between us (just to
hurt my dh), and my husband put his foot down and said "no more". He
has told them repeatedly that when they are willing to sit down and
discuss the issues between them and work toward having a better
relationship then they can contact him then. That was 7.5 years ago. We
attempted reconciliation (me begging his dad to get his mom to talk to
us about stuff--once before his sister's wedding, and once directly to
her when I was pg) in person once March and April of 2005. She became
verbally abusive, and he decided to cut off contact completely except
mail. That became verbally abusive, so he now sends everything unopened
"Return to Sender" on it. If they really want to contact us, we told
them repeatedly that they can send a real note (not just forwards) via
email or call us directly. They have chosen to do neither. So they have
never met their grandson by their choice.

While it is a cruddy situation, I am grateful to my husband for making
all the decisions (even when I felt they were extreme). I have been
spared *tons* of hurtful comments and snide remarks (although she hides
it well in public usually), and my son feels positively towards
Grandmama and Granddaddy because while he doesn't ever see them, he
knows them through photos and such as the people who send him presents
on his birthday and at Christmas. He's been buffered from the situation
too. If he had contact with them, I know eventually there would be
negative feelings toward them, which is just sad.

It's a hard situation, and you have to decide what is right for you,
your dh, and your children. If that means you suck it up (and I
recommend counseling for you if you do to help you learn how to let
things roll of your back) or if that means you limit contact in any
fashion, you need to make sure that it is right for you and your
family. No two situations are exactly the same, so I can't tell you
what to do in your situation, I can just give you my experience.

((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Sharalyn
mom to Alexander James (9/21/01)