Amy wrote:
wrote:
Sue writes:
: "Jess" wrote in message
:Understandable, but please understand that it's a major squick for a guy to
:contemplate letting someone near his balls with something sharp

: I don't think that's good enough reason. Amy has to alter her hormones, so
: why is that any better? I think it's perfectly reasonable for the man to
: take on the responsibility of BC as long as the decision is mutual.

And the part of this post that bothers me is the unstated implication
that declining to go along with the program is somehow "unresponsible"
and "unreasonable." Somehow, often the mutual part gets lost in the wash.

Explain to me how "Amy continues taking the pill," is mutual.

Amy,
It really, really seems like you are wearing blinders here. No one has
said that you must continue taking the pill. No one thinks that forcing
you to take the pill is fair. And it is not.

What we are all trying to tell you is that it seems like you are
forcing him to get a vasectomy. And no matter how long the woman has
been handling things, no matter how many babies she's had - that does
not erase the unfairness of saying "honey, it's your turn. Here is when
you are having your surgery." "Oh, you don't like it? Well tough."

And maybe that's not how you've been handling it. But that's how you
are portraying it. And all of us feel that one partner requiring a
certain action - regardless of the other partners feelings to the
contrary - out of the other is unfair.

Cathy Weeks