On Dec 4, 12:24 pm, Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward
wrote:
I was all excited to get a spot at our neighbourhood daycare centre
for my 22-month old, who has been at home until now, but a naysayer
relative has made me wonder if I'm hurting my daughter more than doing
her good by putting her in daycare at this age, in winter, no less.

I know my daughter will benefit tremendously from being around other
children in a structured educational setting. She will be in a group
of 9 children, who are looked after by 2 teachers and one part-time
assistant.

I work full-time from home, and have a 9-month old here as well. He
will stay with me until he gets a spot at the daycare at 12 months.

The relative (whose neck I would love to wring right now) insists a
child should be kept at home until age 3.

I am doing this because I need to keep my job. Until now I had help
from my mother, but she leaves in a few days, after having been with
us for six months. Already a huge luxury!

What I'd love is to hear some positive stories, and if there's any
scientific backing to my relative's claims.

There is some scientific backing to the claim that longer hours in
daycare (esp 30 hours a week at pre-social ages) has positive
cognitive effects and negative behavioral effects. There is a lot of
scientific backing that the quality of care matters a great deal.
There is no scientific backing to say that you would harm your 22
month old by putting her in daycare unless it's poor-quality daycare
that you plan to use for extended hours 5 days a week.

As someone else pointed out, much as we'd always love to do the best
in every possible way by our children, sometimes "the best" in one
area conflicts with "the best" in another area. Sometimes "the best"
for one family member would present an undue burden on other members
of the family. If keeping your job is important to the well-being of
the family, then you do what's best for your children in the context
of keeping your job.

Anyone who tells you you're harming your child by doing something
fairly reasonable is*way* out of line. Children are not that fragile
and can thrive in many different environments as long as they have a
stable, loving home. I started a job that was 40-80 hours/week and
involved frequent overnights away from home when my daughter was 13
months old. It sucked, and it was far from an ideal situation. But I
have the utmost confidence that it was the best thing for her, as well
as for the rest of us, because now I can work part-time for the rest
of her life. If you're deeply conflicted about keeping your job, then
re-examine whether or not you need to. If you know you need to, then
choose what care for her you feel most comfortable with and know that
your nay-saying relative has no divine insight into the truth.

Kate, ignorant foot soldier of the medical cartel
and the Bug, 4 years old
and something brewing, 4/08