"Mum of Two" wrote in message
...
Wow - it sounds like you are really on top of things (aside from the
illness
and broken hand!). Hope you get that apprenticeship.

Heh, well, it does tend to sound that way, but I'm really just surviving.
I'm seriously considering moving out of the province to the capital, which
is a big thing since I've been here all my life. There's not much of an
incentive to stay now my ex and his parents have moved away, and I'm
leaning
a bit much on my own family which isn't helping our relationship. The idea
of more job opportunities and the chance to make some real, in-the-flesh
friends appeals ;-) I really have nothing holding me here now except my
folks, and my mum's insistence that I should make friends within 'mums'
groups' is not helping. I think she sees it as selfish as DD's family has
already been split, and it is really, but I'm not happy here and it's
reflecting in my parenting. My sister is doing her masters in Wellington
next year and I seriously considered moving into her student flat - only I
know I could never get everything up the stairs! 1/4 life crisis? Maybe.

I imagine its no picnic ... but you still seem ... umm ... "brighter" than
the last time I heard from you.
I actually have made several good friends from playgroup and from the kindy
K goes to. Mind you, there are quite a few who I'll never have anything in
common with. Perhaps your horizons will seem bigger in Wellington... (and
with some support with your sister there). I guess its a difficult decision
to make.


We are fine in general. Having a few issues with DH trying to help
manage
his parents farm since his Dad died in Feb ... which is all entangled
with
DH dealing with his own grief and having a few ummm .. "interesting"
ways
he is trying to deal with it. He is dealing with it though, and I
rarely
have to help him back on course .. its just all a bit sad and awful at
present. Kids are OK, but a bit sad when Daddy has to go away so many
weekends to help Nana with the cows.....

Oh that's tough :-( We've lost grandparents in the last couple of years
but
not parents, touch wood. Managing a farm is a big job at the best of
times.
Do you think he's finding it cathartic? Men often look for something
'practical' to do to cope, rather than facing the issues directly. It must
be hard for the kids losing a grandparent and then losing time with their
father as well. It's all still so fresh.. it probably took my mum a couple
of years for her mother's death just to sink in, and we still have our
moments. I hope things get easier for you all soon.
Amy

WE're OK .... although there have been times this year when I could have
throttled DH .... but luckily for me I've got a few friends who've been
through the same situation with their DHs so I get that its all part of the
grieving process and I know that it will take time.
...and yes - they are a practical bunch of boys, but I also think a bit of
talking wouldn't go astray either.
One of the things I find the hardest to deal with is the kids.
Unfortunately, it was a graveside service and while DD understands what
happened, DS (just turned 3) thinks that G'dad is only dead because we put
him in a hole. He quite regularly tells us that's he's going to get a rope
and rescue G'dad
A