"zeldabee" wrote in message .. .
was all, like:

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...s_health_sleep

This is sad. Really, really sad. I'd vent but I'm tired.

I agree that it isn't good, but I'm not getting "really, really sad"
from it. What about it makes you feel so strongly? (I mean this
question; I'm not being at all flip.)

My own kids all just squeak into their recommended ranges. As far as
my 15-month-old, I really cannot blame myself or "the culture" for it.
She gets no caffeine (well, actually, she may get a bit from the
breastmilk but she shows no difference in sleep pattern on days when I
drink coffee after rather than during her morning feed), and I do make
a big effort, most days, to get her down for a decent nap. And bedtime
seems to be at the right time for her. What can I do if she wakes up
after only 90 minutes from a nap?

I suppose I should be putting my older kids (5 and 9) to bed 30 to 45
mins earlier, but they don't go to bed late due to TV or caffeine or
general neglect. It's usually a bedtime book that keeps them up. Not
that that's OK, but it isn't "sad" either, IMO. As for my own sleep
deprivation -- OK, that is sad. Gotta get more disciplined about my
own evening reading (addicted to newsgroups and political analysis on
the web).

[snip]
We're only actually at home for about 11 hours out of the day on the
weekdays, and though I get us ready for bed as quickly as I can when I get
home from work, he tends to get around 9.5 hours at night. Evenings are
rough, because he really, really wants to go to bed, but won't go down to
sleep without me. My schedule is brutal for me, and I'm scraped about as
thin as I could be, but I worry more about how it's affecting his
development.

Wow, I really feel for you. What on earth time do you guys get home?!

What would happen if you lay down with him when he's ready for bed,
with the intention of getting back up again after he's asleep? Would
you just fall into a deep sleep yourself? With my 2nd, for a while, I
was putting her to sleep by laying down with her but I needed to get
back up to work (I work from home, mostly evenings). I will admit that
it was torture. I was sleep-deprived myself, so I invariably dropped
into a deep sleep along with her (often before her), and I had to have
my DH wake me up, forcibly if necessary.

Eventually, I couldn't take those waking-back-ups, so I did get her to
go to sleep without me. I used to nurse her sitting up in a chair (so
I wouldn't fall too far asleep) for what seemed like ages, till she
was in a DEEP sleep, and then put her down and go work. Not exactly
fun, but not sheer torture, and it got her the sleep she needed.

Alternatively, maybe you could go down to sleep with him early but
then get up before him to get your stuff done?

I'm racking my brains trying to figure out how to change the situation, and
the only thing I can come up with is that I have to make a major life
change...like, quit my job and freelance or start my own business. But
that's scary, because I've got a good job with benefits, and a stable
child-care situation with which I'm happy. My son's father contributes very
little, so for all intents and purposes, I'm the sole breadwinner.

What is causing the crushingly full schedule? Are you expected to work
long hours at your job? Do you commute far?

Is it possible to make changes *at* your job? Could you work from home
a couple or a few days per week? This would be very helpful if
commuting time is part of your problem. Could you leave at a decent
hour but take work home to do after the baby's asleep? (I know lots of
people who do that -- not fun, and can be stressful, but allows the
kids a better schedule.)

How about the dad? Does he live nearby? If so, could he take over
either taking the baby in or picking him up from childcare?

Could anything be changed at daycare to help your baby get better
sleep there?

It's hard to see a way out without making a huge and risky change...but I'm
seriously considering moving to the west coast so I'll at least have some
family around to lend support.

Would they be a big help? If so, and if you could get a good job out
there, then that might be a great option. I can't imagine my life
without my mother -- and I've got a live-in husband! But what about
the baby's dad?