In article ,
(Robyn Kozierok) wrote:

My boys are 4, 8 and 11yo. When we sit down for a family dinner,
we don't currently force the 4yo to join us. We sometimes give him
something to eat earlier if he's hungry, but more often that not
he basically skips dinner, or eats only a few bites. He's very tiny,
but completely healthy. But he really doesn't eat much, especially
at dinnertime.

My question is not about feeding him, as we have worked out a plan
with his pediatrician where he is healthy and growing, albeit slowly.

My question is, if your young child is done eating his dinner before
the rest of the family, do you expect him to stay at the table with
you? We usually let him go off to play or watch a video. And frankly,
we prefer to do that because it makes mealtimes much more relaxed for
the rest of us. We do make our older children stay at the table for
a reasonable amount of time, and I think we started with them before
they were 4yo. But this one just doesn't seem "inclined" to sit still
for a while at that time of day. (He eats lunch with his group at
preschool, so he does get "experience" with group mealtime behavior.)

Any thoughts?

--Robyn
.


My kids sat at the table for dinner from infancy on. Seriously: if
they were awake, we put them in their seats on the table. Once they
were big enough for high chairs, that's where they were during dinner.

In general, they stayed at the table until a meal was over, though they
weren't always eating -- we included them in the conversations, and
played with them.

As they got older, they'd ask to be excused when they were done, and
whether we said yes or no would depend on variables like how much they'd
eaten and whether we had company.

With one, we had to make a rule that she had to stay at the dinner table
for a certain number of minutes, because otherwise she'd announce she
was full so she could run back outside to play, and then come in at bed
time starving. We didn't make her eat -- I've never forced my kids to
eat -- but if she stayed at the table she DID eat.

By making it more about the family being together than about the food,
it seemed to help.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care