I hate the labeling thing too. My mom used to say that I should watch out for
Ryan because he could easily become a bully (since he's big) and that really
made me bristle. So I would always follow that with saying what a sweet gentle
person he was, it wouldn't happen. And he is a very sweet gentle person!

Maybe you can think of what are the best positive qualities that you want to
reinforce in your kids and say that instead. Like "Chris is a great
communicator". Okay, that's a lame example, but maybe he's got a tender heart,
or he's very happy (when he's happy), or he's very gentle with the dog or
something. I just noticed their birthdates, so I guess they might be too young
for those. How about, he's got a smile that melts my heart, or he's very
cuddly - something more baby appropriate.

Just don't allow yourself to be pulled into the "good twin, evil twin" game.
Maybe just say, "they are both very different, but very wonderful".

Stephanie
Jake and Ryan 9/3/99