Tori M. wrote:
Anyway I have a question about how to
make my daughter less jealous of the baby when I have it in October.

Hunter was 24mos when Luke was born. I nursed as well. Hunter also freaked
out when I held another baby etc. and so I was really really worried. It
was a total non-issue. He completely excepted the baby as part of our
family. Some things I did, not sure which worked, or maybe it was all just
luck!

1) Hunter brought Luke a balloon at the hospital. It was really for Hunter
as he loved balloons at that time.

2) We got Hunter a baby himself. That was unusual for us as it was his
first doll. Your dd probably already has some :-0

3) I was nursing when he first came in to meet me and the baby. I didn't
occur to me until recently when someone else posted about it but I think
that was a major signal to Hunter that Luke was *ours* and not some intruder
baby :-)

4) We let Hunter open all the baby gifts.

5) My aunt (Hunter's Grandma) spoiled him rotten a few days before and a
week after the birth. She stayed with us and this helped him ease the
transition.

6) I let Hunter hold the baby nearly every single time he asked, which was a
lot. Thankfully the baby was fairly cooperative.

7) I referred to him as our baby (as in Steve, Hunter, and I) when I was
pregnant.

8) I never blamed things on the baby. When I was to pregnant or sick to do
something, I didn't say it was because of the pregnancy. Afterwards when he
had to wait for something I didn't say it was because of the baby, even if
it really was. I found other reasonable explanations. Might not work with
a slightly older and wiser toddler though :-)

9) Sometimes the baby had to wait for Hunter and I always mentioned that out
loud so that Hunter realized that sometimes his needs came first.

10) I carried them around together a lot etc.

Things I wish we could have done:

Switched dh to do Hunter's night time routine before the baby came. Hunter
wouldn't make that switch and he was very tired the first few months.

Reminded Hunter that babies cried. He hadn't heard the baby cry and on the
way home from the hospital they were in the back seat and Luke started to
cry. It scared Hunter and made him feel helpless and he started to cry
pathetically too :-(

I never read him any books because I didn't find one that didn't have the
premise of big brother hating the new baby. I didn't want to give him
ideas, lol. We didn't have any problems until about 9 months. At that time
the baby was very mobile and we also had some daycare issues.

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)