I tended to be fairly obstinate and go my own way, while my sister tended to
follow the crowd. The only thing you can do is instil positive values in
your kids.

My sister was offered drugs in high school, me not until I was at uni. Both
of us refused, because of the values our parents had taught us - to value
education and know where your mind is at, not take drugs, etc. Although
tempted, my sister took a look at what was happening to the people smoking
the marijuana that was offered to her and decided that they were the most
boring people she had ever been with and she didn't want to be boring. Kids
will make decisions for the wierdest reasons!

Following the crowd is normal in a kid entering their tweens or teens. They
don't want to be different. Adults want to be different, not kids. It's what
they choose to do out of what is on offer that can be a problem. Dressing
alike and hanging out at certain places will be something most kids will go
through. The only thing you can do is teach them to choose wisely and
respect themselves and their bodies.

The 8yo running away was probably a reaction to make the sibling sorry that
they had rejected them. Maybe have a look at how they interact and how much
time you are spending with them. Do they feel rejected by others as well as
the sibling?

My sister is 6 years younger than myself. I couldn't stand to have this KID
trailing after me when I entered my teens. She "ran away" after I had
rejected her for play and mum had told her off. She felt unwanted so she
left. That she wasn't allowed to cross the street and only went around the
block in another matter!

Love your kids and teach them to love themselves and each other. My sister
and I are great friends now and some following the crowd did not hurt either
of us because we knew what to choose when faced with temptation.

"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...
I've got two stubborn kids, who can be relied on *not* to do something
just because everyone else does.

The other kid is showing strong tendancies of following the crowd. We
are concened about this - for instance today It was insistant that
because Sibling had told It to "get lost" during an argument, It had
to go out and get lost, to the extent of leaving the house complete with
pocket money.

The child in question is about 8yo, but we are thinking ahead to the
teenage years.

If we asked It whether they would jump off a bridge just because everyone
else did, I think if they were in a stroppy mood, they would
say yes.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how we can get them to resist
peer pressure when appropriate? We have several years before it gets
to be a serious issue, but I'd like to lay the groundwork now.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three