"ted" wrote in message
om...
If someone new read this message without having read your previous posts
about returning to work and feeding with a bottle I am afraid they would
get the wrong impression and give the wrong advice.

We all know that since starting to bottle feed regularly your daughter
has developed nipple confusion and the accompanying bottle preference.
We have suggested many times in the past that you either eliminate or
strictly limit bottle feeding, but you either won't or can't do that.

The thing is I try EVERY time she's hungry. I first offer her to nurse
and then she'll throw a fit. I became weary of this routine. I tried
soft spout cups but she won't take them either. The least problematic
time for me is during the night and soon after waking up in the
morning. These days she's not even nursing well in the mornings. So
I'm trying to save what little nursing session I have left.


I'm an advocate of giving babies what they want... to a point. The fact of
the matter is that she's four months old and totally dependant on what you
choose to offer her. When nipple confusion or bottle nipple preference is
well-established, it CAN be broken, but it's a difficult process and may be
very, very emotionally draining for a couple days. The good news is that you
CAN get back to nursing, probably nursing exclusively, with the right kind
of help and the right kind of consistency.


As long as you continue to bottle feed the way you are, you will
continue
to have this problem. Other than to repeat the advice to eliminate or
strictly limit bottle feeding, I don't know what to say.


I work outside of home fulltime. I tried to give her cups but she
won't take them. I tried after removing the clear plastic valve inside
(Avent sippy cups) but still she won't take them.

Babies *will not* starve themselves over time. Why not use a softcup feeder
or even a spoon? With these methods, you don't have to rely on baby "taking"
them, because you actually can drip the milk into baby's mouth. If you MUST
use a bottle, I'd go for the smallest holed, most breastfeeding friendly
nipple I could find. My preference for my daughter was the Nuk silicone
nipples with the smallest holes. Don't make bottlefeeding easier.

And if baby refuses breast or cup? Settle baby down and try again. And
again. And again. But if you "break down" and give a bottle, you teach her
that she just has to cry harder and longer. I hate this idea and this
method, but once you've started down the path to nipple preferences and
potential early weaning, going back is MUCH harder. Remember to explain to
her what is going on. If you just do it, without talking to her, it's going
to confuse her and upset her every time. But babies respond to spoken
language, even if they're not totally fluent g and a little explanation
goes a long way with a 4 month old. When you start to give the breast,
explain to her that nursing is important. When she latches on well and
nurses, tell her how happy you are that she's nursing well. Make your tone
of voice say as much as the words them self. When trying a cup or spoon,
explain to her that this is how the milk is coming, and if she's hungry,
this is what she needs to eat. When she takes it, make positive noises about
it. Positive reinforcement is vital and often very difficult to do when
you're tired and frustrated.

But if you're not willing to be consistent about it, don't even bother
trying, because it will just confuse her and make her think that you're
"holding out"--you're not, you're trying to encourage the best kind of
feeding you know how.

It sounds like "cry it out" advice on the surface, but I think at the root,
the issue is that you ARE the parent, and you got her started on something
which led to this point, and in order to fix that, it's going to be hard on
both of you for a short time to be better for both of you for a long time.

If your baby can learn that when you are there, she will only get her food
from your breast, she will nurse. If she learns that when you are away, food
will only come from a soft cup feeder or spoon, she will take it that way.
If you pump when you are apart from her and nurse lots when you are with
her, your milk supply could well return to a good level. But if you aren't
willing to make an all-out committment to that, there aren't a whole lot of
other ways to get there. You might need an SNS or other at-the-breast method
to supplement until your supply is back up, but it IS possible to get your
supply back.

Jenrose