Hi - sorry to hear you are having those experiences, I have had similar
ones. I will be delivering at a hospital, but am preparing for a
natural childbirth and boy do people love to be negative about it. I
have thought about saying "Do you enjoy raining on people's parades in
general, or just pregnant women?" I mean, do these people stand in
parking lots and tell gruesome car accident stories as people get into
their cars?? Do they sit outside restaurants and grocery stores and
tell food poisoning stories??

(Warning: epidural horror stories to follow, read at your own risk
The other day though, I actually had the opposite experience, I talked
to a woman at work who was very open to natural childbirth because of
her horror story with an epidural - she had *4* epidurals (yes with the
same birth), none of which took completely, she did not have much pain
relief, and her baby ended up having to be hooked to IV's for 2 days as
a result. Also, my childbirth teacher told us some epidural horror
stories including an epidural that got infected, an epidural that
accidentally went in too close to the spine and temporarily paralyzed
the women's upper body as well, and a women who had lingering weakness
in her legs months after her epidural.

I am trying to look at this whole people being obnoxious and bossy to
pregnant women as an opportunity to work on my patience and temper!
Actually, many people have been kind and supportive, so that helps a
lot!! Good luck and I'd like to know how you continue to handle these
situations.

-kim


In article ,
says...
So I'm having a great pregnancy all around, but since I want to give
birth in a birth center instead of a hospital, people are using my
private choice to tell me the absolute worst birth horror stories I've
ever had to deal with in my life!

Finally, I told a family friend (who was convinced that if I heard her
horror story, I would give up the birth center plan immediately) the
following:

1) No horror story will change my mind, I like my doctor (she will be
there, with another experienced OB/GYN, for the entire natural
childbirth. For whatever reason, this place doesn't use midwives), and
I like the center. It's a personal, loving, positive place where I
never feel poked, prodded, or treated like an idiot. My doctor wants
me to make a birth plan, and she's committed to using it. What more
could I ask for?

2) Being pregnant, I tend to overreact a little, and I don't want to
hear horror stories that might freak me out. I am well aware that I
might end up with a very different birth from the one I am planning,
and I am absoultely fine with that. Things happen. I just can't stand
it when practically EVERYONE I know thinks I'm doing serious harm to
my baby and/or myself because of this very personal choice.

Then again, they can think it, it's just that how do I keep people's
mouths shut while still maintaining friendships? I'm only at 23 weeks
(and can you tell this is my first pregnancy?), I've got a long way to
go, and any advice you can all give me about how to handle these
people would be appreciated.

One solution I've come up with so far is to let people say whatever
awful things they want, let them think I've taken them seriously, and
then allow it to flow right past me. I just know that when I've tried
this in the past, I get just as stressed out than if I tell people to
keep their horror stories to themselves. Sigh.

Anyone been there/currently there now with this one? I'd be interested
to hear what you all have to say.

Thanks,
H