So, what alternatives are you suggesting, LaVonne? Is yelling a better
alternative?

"Swedish parents now discipline their children; and in doing so, they rely
on a variety of alternatives to physical punishment. The method most
commonly used is _verbal_conflict_resolution_, which invites parents as
well as children to express their anger in words. Parents insist that
discussions involve constant eye contact, even if this means taking firm
hold of young children to engage their attention. Parents and
professionals agree that discussions may escalate into yelling, or that
yelling may be a necessary trigger for discussion. Still, many point out
that while yelling may be humiliating, it is better than ignoring the
problem or containing the anger, and it is usually less humiliating than
physical punishment."

It is better to yell at your kid - just call it "verbal conflict
resolution"! ;-)

Doan

On Thu, 9 Feb 2006, Carlson LaVonne wrote:

Ever notice how *not one person* responded to my post or yours, which
quoted my post on alternative parenting strategies that utilize neither
spanking nor rely on reasoning for children who are not developmentally
at a level where reasoning alone is appropriate?

Could it be they do not want to know alternatives? Or could it be that
they already know the alternatives and either do not want to take the
time to practice good parenting, or that they simply believe they need
to hit their child?

LaVonne

0:- wrote:
Like there's only two choices?

This is the argument, above, and in the subject field that spankers and
protectors of spankers frequently use to complain about non-CP
advocates.

Doesn't it make you kind of wonder if the spankers, all spanked
themselves, didn't get paddled a little to high up their back?

Ever see a parent that themselves were not spanked, but instead
parented as below resort to spanking for teaching?

Here's an interesting replyto those who posit only two choices:

"There are a multitude of parenting strategies for very young children
that do
not rely on reasoning or spanking. The first is to understand where
this
little child is developmentally and have appropriate expectations.
Then try
avoiding the issue if the expectation is developmentally inappropriate.
Use
redirection, substitution, extinction, meeting child's immediate needs,
and a
multitude of other parenting strategies. If you want more information,
please
ask. I've posted this many times on alt.parenting.spanking. Parenting
is
about teaching. Parenting is about helping children develop internal
control
and moral reasoning -- it's not about hitting for compliance.

And a multitude of studies spanning several decades exist showing that
spanking
is linked to long and short term risk factors and no studies that show
spanking
to be preferrable to alternative forms of discipline that do not
involve
hitting, hurting, shaming, or demeaning a child. Of course, if you
have
studies that support your position, I'd love to read them. Please post
your
sources.

LaVonne "
Oct 21 2003