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Old May 10th 05, 07:12 PM
Karen G
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We do expect our children to stay at the table with us for a little
while when they are done eating. For a long time our evening meals were
quite unpleasant because we (my husband and I) didn't really have
anything better to do that critique their manners. My husband came up
with an evening conversation plan that has helped all of us enjoy the
time whether we are eating or not. Everyone actually looks forward to
dinner because we get to share.

Our plan:
What was one good thing and one bad thing that happened to you today?

Our 6 year old is able to participate fully at this point.
Our 5 year old still uses the game as an acceptable form of tattling
from time to time.
Our 2 1/2 year old reports the same things every day.

We start this after everyone has been served and has started eating. It
usually takes us about 3 to 5 minutes apiece--total 20 minutes or so.

I don't think sitting still is necessarily the key for a 4 year old as
much as making the meal a social time that he is "engaged" in what is
going on around the table with his family. You mentioned that your son
is getting social involvement at preschool, but I feel that family
involvement is uniquely different.

We had one surprise outcome of the plan: When someone gets down from
the table for a reason other than to get another fork/napkin/etc or go
to the bathroom, their plate and cup is removed. Losing your plate
before you get to share is more or less considered capital punishment by
the 5 and 6 year old.

Karen