Hi everyone,

A very close friend is having a rough time with what seems to be post-
partum depression/anxiety. I'm looking for ways to help long
distance.

She gave birth to her third child, a girl, in September, bringing that
baby home the same day her oldest daughter started Kindergarten. She
also has a 3 year old boy. Between these pregnancies she had several
miscarriages. She's basically been pregnant, trying to get pregnant,
or recovering from a birth or miscarriage for the last 7 years
straight. Recently, she very reluctantly chose to wean her youngest
earlier than she had hoped due to some severely clogged ducts and
infections in her breasts.

It's always been her goal to have three children (she is the third in
her family). Now that she has achieved that against some stiff odds
(she's over 40 and as I mentioned had several miscarriages), she
describes feeling trapped and completely dissatisfied with her life.
She has had episodes of near-paralysis, waking up and feeling unable
to get up out of bed. She has also had bouts of uncontrollable
crying.

She is afraid to be alone with her children. She doesn't report
feeling she would hurt them, but rather that she just won't be able
to handle it all. She says they are "so needy at this age, so whine-
y." She doesn't feel bonded to the new baby ("I know I love her, but
I don't feel connected").

She's taken some excellent steps. She has been up front with her
husband, nearby family and friends. She has more than once reached
out to one of them when she felt out of control and seems very willing
to do so when she needs to. She has seen a counselor and is on a
schedule of weekly appointments. She has tried one anti-anxiety
medication prescribed by her OB/GYN but felt the side effects
(dizziness) were too unpleasant. She is open to anti-depressant
medication and when I spoke with her Monday she was going to call and
ask for a prescription.

I've been in touch via phone, offered to fly to see her and sent
tulips when she mentioned that if she can just make it to spring, she
thinks she'll be ok. That seems so woefully inadequate for someone I
love so much. Ideas?

-Dawn