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Old October 10th 11, 01:59 AM
JuliaDahaka JuliaDahaka is offline
First recorded activity by ParentingBanter: Sep 2011
Posts: 1

Originally Posted by ;149258
Monday I came home from school and turned on my computer and nothing
happened... it wouldn't boot. It was as if my son had killed my dog. For
you guys out there, imagine you had a prized Porsche that you cherished and
showed off and took care of every day and your son got mad at you, had been
mad at you for a lot of things that you just didn't know how to fix and you
came home one day and your son asked if he could drive it and you said no
and you came home and your Porsche was sitting in your drive way all crashed
up, how angry would you be? I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. I got
in my car and drove to his friend's house and he got in and I took him to
the woods near there and told him how he hurt me and he had no right, he had
crossed the last boundary, he no longer lived at my house and that when he
went and told everyone how crazy I was to be sure and tell them what he had
done. I did not hit him or touch him at all, he was not scared of me in any
way, (he is a foot taller than me and much faster and I can't run, I have
two compressed disks in my lower back) he was annoyed. I said I was going
to smash up his computer but he pointed out that his is worth way more than
mine and I'd just have to pay for it so what's the sense in that. He walked
back to the car before I did and tried to use his keys to get in but I got
in and went home and sat down and called 911 again. They put me through to
crisis and I told them again how much worse things had gotten and to please
find some place for my son to live because he could not live with me, he was
hurting me and I was having a hard time holding it together and I did not
want it to escalate either way. Do something! I have a counselor, he has a
counselor, it's going to take more than that. His constant abuse is
aggravating my PTSD and I don't want to be abusive to him. I've been
accused of having a victim mentality on here before, I think maybe that is
what has contributed to how he has learned to treat me so please don't beat
me up about that, certainly that will make things worse. So, the police
came to my house. I was surprised to see them as I thought I had handled it
pretty well, having gotten my point across without resorting to violence but
what I didn't know is that my son had told them that I tried to kill him.
He said this in front of my only friend, who knows me really well, but they
did not listen to her even though she is an adult, they listened to him,
presumably because although he is a minor he looks like a man. So now those
who have a history of picking on me for "having issues with men" can start
blaming this on me for that. Or maybe it's all Eve's fault, but I already
apologized for that at gunpoint when I was married to my psycho ex-husband
in front of my son when he was three, he remembers that better than I do,
I've gotten really good at dissociating (leaving your body when your body
and spirit find it necessary to take a break from each other for awhile).
And before you blame me for getting involved with abusive men, they are not
abusive at first, it is like a spider's web. Very beautiful and intricate
and silky soft and smooth but damned difficult to get out of and the harder
you try to get out of it the more stuck you are. Precious few escape. And
I have worked very hard at escaping, I attract psychos, they like my fiery
personality and my lovingness combination and I never know they are a psycho
until it's too late. I did abstain for all those years but I guess that was
too late. Well, this is the biggest pity party I've had in a long time.
Probably because I haven't had this much pain come to the surface in years.

So, the police, once again, reinforced my fear and loathing of them although
they were pretty kind and respectful when they went about it by NOT helping
me. I have learned repeatedly that the police do not help women who are
being abused by men, they only know how to punish and they are good at that
and they tend to identify with the man. I have heard contrary from others,
but this has been my experience time and time and time again regardless of
my behavior or attitude or what part of the country I am in. Because my son
lied to the police about how I reacted to him destroying my computer they
took me to involuntary psych unit. It has been a long time since I have
been treated with such indignity and it really brought out the abused child
in me to be abandoned and ignored which about sums up what it's like to be
locked up in the emergency room. It is completely useless as a health care
tool. You get no sleep, you get NO medication, they make you take off all
your clothes and wear a napkin (you might make a slingshot out of your
brassiere or something), and when you ask for help no one will listen to
you, because you are a mental patient. It brings back some very bad
memories. I had two angels. I am hypoglycemic and nearly fainted on my way
back from the bathroom because they also do not feed you on the psych ward
in the middle of the night and I also needed my pain meds but fat chance I
was even going to bother asking for that, much less my mental health meds,
ironic though that may be. But for some reason I have the survival skill of
tenacity, I asked every single nurse that walked by until one listened to me
and she got me some 7UP. She also picked up the bloody gauze that was on
the floor next to my bed that was there when I got there that I pointed out
was a hospital liability but none of the other nurses would listen to me
about it. (good thing I'm not THAT kind of crazy, sheesh, what if it had
AIDS on it or something?) The other one was the security guard watching me.
Being ignored really gets to me and I almost lost it and he came over and
said you brought that book with you (a physics book) he said he had no idea
what it was about but that if I filled my head with the book there would be
no room for my mother, my mother was NOT there. And then he proceeded to
watch over me, in a good way. I even fell asleep for awhile, in peace.

They released me to the care of my counselor's office where, thankfully,
they know me very well and they know I am not a violent psycho like my son
and the police were making me out to be and they made arrangements to
contact foster care on my behalf and let me go so I could get to class. A
taxi took me home and when I got there my car was gone. Boy was I mad, lol.
My son had run the gas out but at least it was all in one piece and my
friend brought it to me and I went to school and tried to fake normal,
that's like trying to pretend that you are not on fire. Who is this child
and where is my real son? How do I get him back? Why won't the system stop
screwing around and help us? Now what do I do?

I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I don't know if foster care can help. There are other ways to help him, example, Therapeutic boarding schools that will cater to your son's needs. He needs to be under the care of people that knows how to handle this kind of situation.