On 2005-12-28, wrote:
Two of the parents in my child's third grade class have formed very
personal relationships with the teacher, one of the mother frequently
socializes with the teacher outside of work (shopping trips, movies
etc), the other family has taken to inviting the teacher to their
social events, such as holiday parties etc. This teacher is not a
transplant, but grew up in a community nearby to the school district
and appears to have family and friends independant of the school.

It is not unusual nor inherently wrong for a teacher and parents to be
part of the same social network, especially in a small community.
Teachers are human beings also and are allowed to socialize with other
adults.

Several of us parents have concerns about the appropriateness of the
external friendship that has formed during the first course of the
school year betwen the two sets of parents and the teacher. We feel
that the teacher has crossed the line of professionalism, and that in
several recent cases involving the two children of these parents, she
has shown a decided bias in her decisions. This bias has been
particularly glaring in the case of one of the children, who has had
consistent issues throughout grade school, and now is being given the
"benefit of the doubt" in every situation that arises.

Favoritism in the classroom is unprofessional behavior and does need
to be addressed. Don't confuse the issue, though, by bringing in
outside-of-school friendships, which are none of your concern.

My question here is what is the appropriate relationship between
teachers and parents? SHould we begin to engage the principal and when?

If you have clear evidence of favoritism, then you should go to the
principal with the evidence. It would help if several parents joined
together for the discussion, with the calmest of them chosen as
spokesperson. At question is *not* the relationship between the
teacher and the friendly parents (which is really none of the school's
concern, as long as it is a mutually agreeable relationship), but the
relationship between teacher and students.

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Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus
Professor of Biomolecular Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz
Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics
(Senior member, IEEE) (Board of Directors, ISCB)
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