You have two issues I see here. 1) Socializing and 2) claim of bias

To answer the first question. I don't have a problem with the teacher
socializing with whomever. I grew up in a small university town. All the
Ph.D.s were "Uncle Bill" or "Uncle Al" etc. Most of their wives taught in
the local school system and I called them "Aunt Peggy" and so on - I had to
learn to call them Mrs. *Jones* when I got in their classes.

Their older kids would baby sit me and my brothers and as I got to be one of
the older kids I baby sat their younger kids. I pet sat and house sat for
some of them when they went on vacation or sabbatical.

Many of them lived in the same neighborhood as my family as my father was
one of the Ph.D.s also. I played with their kids, spent the night, had Girl
Scouts, etc., my brothers and their friends played tennis and baseball, etc.
It wasn't uncommon to have dinner parties, bar-be-ques, birthday parties, at
our house or theirs. I can't ever remember a time when the social aspect
had any impact on the teaching other than the fact that at the university I
had a lot of "Uncles" and that gave a bunch of the other kids a big laugh.

Guess what, I'm grown-up, my parents are retired, and they still socialize
with their friends and I get to see all my old teachers at the various
dinner parties, bar-be-ques, fish fries, etc. that they all still have. I
think it's great!

As to your bias - if you think you can prove it then go talk to the teacher
about it if you want. MYOB about her socializing and don't even go there.
It just might be that she knows something that you don't and is trying to
help that family out in some way. My biggest concern would be if my child
was somehow hurt, mistreated, not given respect, etc. by this teacher
because of the bias. So what has you the most upset? just that she is
showing special treatment to a student other than your child?


wrote in message
oups.com...

Two of the parents in my child's third grade class have formed very
personal relationships with the teacher,

We feel
that the teacher has crossed the line of professionalism, and that in
several recent cases involving the two children of these parents, she
has shown a decided bias in her decisions. This bias has been
particularly glaring in the case of one of the children, who has had
consistent issues throughout grade school, and now is being given the
"benefit of the doubt" in every situation that arises.

My question here is what is the appropriate relationship between
teachers and parents? SHould we begin to engage the principal and when?