On Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:25:43 -0700, John Meyer
wrote:

This came to me a couple of minutes ago, while discussing a joke with a
friend about a SAHM who had nine kids ("It's a vagina, not a clown car,
don't treat it like one.") I don't know how I got to this point, but it
seems to me that the "job" of a stay at home parent is largely overblown
and a mockery of parents who work, or those who are single and have to work.
The gist of it is this: The whole concept that being a stay at home
mother or father is the hardest job in the world fails to take into
account the fact that those tasks the stay at home parent is doing also
have to be done by the parent who works out of the household. In fact,
you could reasonably argue that the parent who works out of the
household has a much harder go of it than the parent who stays at home.
Why? Because the same tasks that have to be done by the SAHP have to
also be done by the working parent, but with less time. Give you an
example: suppose you had a task, cleaning your house. Would you prefer
to have maybe 16 to 20 hours to do it in the time when you are also
preparing your supper and getting to bed, or would you prefer being able
to do that same task in 40 hours?

Anytime I hear a SAHP telling me how hard they have it, I want to ask
them if I can trade places with them! Maybe it seems hard, but how
about trying this instead:

* Getting to see your child only a few hours a week.
* Having the threat of Jail hanging over your head if your luck takes
a turn for the worse in the job market.
* Having your child brain-washed against you.

Don't come crying to me about how tough you have it! I work 6 days a
week to pay money to a woman who has never worked, A woman that has
made my daughter hate me. She also claims to be a "single mom doing it
all on her own". I've watched everything important to me get taken
away right before my eyes.

I remember somebody telling me that the army was one of the easiest jobs
in the world because whatever the task was, they gave you eight hours to
do it in. If it realistically took only two, that gave you six hours to
do whatever you wanted. Or you could extend out the task. I don't know
if I believe that, but I sure understand that concept.
And to those stay at home parents who say that the working parent has it
easier because of their efforts, need I remind you that the working
parent is making your life easier as well? If they are working long
hours on a job, they are bringing in income for you to use as well as
them. Now that they are divorced, they no longer have the benefit of
your cleaning skills, yet somehow they are expected to still pay you for
a benefit that only their children receive? What about intimacy,
friendship, somebody to crack a beer open with?

I couldn't care less about intamacy at this point. All I want is my
daughter to love me again.

Then you have the "child care" argument. The argument that if they
weren't stay at home parents the parent would have to pay for child care
(of course this ignores non custodial parents who are well off and for
whom child care might actually be less expensive). Maybe they would,
but have you thought that maybe, just maybe, that might prepare the
child for socialization? And maybe it might prepare the custodial
parent for the time when the child support ends?
In short, I've just about had it up to here with this argument about
SAHM/D. You have no standards, you have no certifications, and calling
it the hardest job in the world belittles those who must work outside
and inside the home. To put it bluntly, grow the eff up.

For those of us that have to live the nightmare of being shut out of
our kids lives, those living the SAHP lifestyle have it all. Don't any
of you EVER tell me how you have it so tough. You get to spend
everyday with your kids. You have someone else footing the bills. If
you take that for granted, then you are a fool and extremely
ungrateful.