In article , Irrational Number
says...

So, if anyone is following our saga, back
in July, my neighbor J ranted and railed at
me for various issues: safety, nanny,
bilingual environment, tantrums, noise,
etc., regarding my 5yo autistic Pillbug.
At that time, he threatened to call CPS,
said he has a friend at CPS who said he
should call, but he oh so kindly decided
he himself would talk to us first.

Well, following that, I talked to all the
other neighbors, determined that no one was
concerned with noise except J,

Well, when people are put on the spot like that they often don't want to bring
up their concerns...

that the only
real concern was safety, that ONE TIME that
Pillbug crossed the street by himself because
DH was not paying attention. (It's a quiet
residential street, an puh-leeze, all kids
try to go into streets, don't they?)

I did implement all of J and J's wife's
suggestions: new locks, new fence, never
let the kids go near their garage, shut the
windows on J's side if Pillbug tantrums and
move Pillbug to the other side of the house.

Good!


Well, J called CPS anyway. I am calm now,
but Tuesday night I was cussing like a sailor.

J called CPS about Pillbug crossing the
street. CPS decided there was not sufficient
evidence for an investigation, so they referred
us to some community counseling support blah
blah blah place. (By the way, when I told this
counseling place that my Pillbug was autistic,
he told me to go to The First 5 Years, whom I
had called FOUR years ago and they told me they
could do nothing for me.) Useless. Absolutely
useless.

Think if it as "useless" = "CPS decided you're fine".


I've discovered that negative reinforcement
just does not work well with me. Now that J
has called CPS, my gut is telling me that
next time Pillbug tantrums, I will open all
the windows on J's side and aim Pillbug in
that direction.

Don't don't.


I just cannot believe that after our discussion,
after J's wife kept telling me that she had been
a teacher for 30 years, that she tossed water
in her son's face at 2yo to stop his tantrums
(sheesh, a 2yo's tantrumming for show is so
different from an autistic child's frustration
at being unable to communicate - I am not about
to stop Pillbug from attempting to communicate!),
after I implemented every one of their suggestions,
that they still called CPS.

I will talk to J again. I'm not sure what I want
to say to him. I'm going to wait a week so that
I'm calm when I do.

Why on earth talk to that neighbor again???

Here's what came down:

1. They called CPS, as I recall several of us said "let them, CPS won't do
anything".

2. CPS did nothing, basically. Other than the mamby-pamby obligatory referrals
they pretty much have to do and record that they did so they can show they're
doing their job.

So that was the one bullet in J's gun, they're blown their wad, there is nothing
more that they can do, and *they* know it too. So it's done.

Just keep doing what you're already doing, please dont' think of yourself as a
child who "doesn't respond to negative reinforcement" and do stupid stuff to get
the police called.

But, good grief, why on earth are you even thinking about talking to that
neighbor again? What do you owe them?? What do you hope to accomplish??

Newsflash: People don't talk to all their neighbors. It's one way of getting
along - detente. No talk, no arguments, no hassle. You can rant here - we can
be the people you talk to.

As for them, no reason to even be neighborly - you don't even have to call if
you see a breaking in over there. Just pretend it's an empty house. ;-)

Banty