thanks so much for your reply!


I wonder whether he's afraid to go to sleep because of nightmares.

I've concidered this but im not sure. maybe, im always there for him if he
wakes up crying tho, we make sure he knows that he can come to our room at
night if he needs us too. bad dreams stink.

I wonder what your sleeping arrangements a that is, do you
expect him to be alone in a room while he falls asleep? If so,
I would urge you to consider staying with him until he falls
asleep. Little children are often afraid of being alone.

Lately i have been trying to stay with him untill he falls asleep. also, my
roomates son of the same age sleeps in the same room (im kind of a live in
nanny for my roommates son, in exchange for rent) so he's never really
alone.


Many mothers find that breastfeeding is a relatively easy way to get
toddlers to sleep.

Breastfeeding worked really great, but we just recently weaned, so its not
an option. i love nursing him, but he was getting to the point where i
couldnt sit down without him running up to me going "Nurse, nurse,
nurse!!!!" and pretty much pulling my shirt off. i actually miss it
sometimes though. they were some really nice relaxing times 9when he settled
down,lol). maybe i could teach him that nurse is for nite nite only? has
anyone else done this, and did it work? i dont mind nursing him, i just dont
like him getting all grabby and demanding about it, know what i mean?

You could try a cradle or some sort of (safe) swinging hammock,
or try to have him fall asleep in your lap while you rock
in a rocking chair. You could take him for a walk in a stroller
at naptime; he might fall asleep like that. That might
not be as convenient for you as having him sleep in a bed
at home, but it might be better than the kicking and stuff.

i've tried some of this, but the only thing that seems to work is a drive in
the car. unfortunately i dont drive, and my hubby isnt always home to do it
so.....
The whole rocking chair thing used to work when he was littler, but its like
he has a "that'll put me to sleep!!" radar in his head. as soon as something
starts feeling relaxing he starts fighting it. like when i sttroke his
forhead, he gets drowsy, then starts swatting my hand away, stuff like that.


There are some good ideas on this page:

http://borntoexplore.org/discipline.htm

While this is written for parents of kids with ADD, the
ideas apply to all kids IMO.

See especially the part of that page that begins
"I had just read about Kiersey's ...". (Most of the
way down the page, the second yellow section after
the blue heading "Method # 2: Abuse it -- Lose it", not
the heading near the top, "2. Abuse it -- Lose it".)
This talks about how Teresa Gallagher (the author of
the web page) got her son to take naps in day care
with a system where he would lose the privilege of
using his cot if he got up. If you decide to use
a method like that, you need enough confidence to
be able to continue calmly applying the method while
it seems not to work the first few times. You need
to get across to the child that you will continue
using that method no matter what the child does.

Spanking will certainly not help get a child to sleep.

when i realised this i started this thread. i never ever wanted to spank him
ever! and it really doesnt make sense to get him all riled up before trying
to get him to sleep. total agreement with you.

You might consider whether he needs to have a longer
sleep at night and no nap. At least that would cut
the struggles in half! If he's not tired, it's harder
to get him to sleep.

tired is not the issue, if he doesnt get his nap he turns into a holy
terror by 4 pm . well, not really a holy terror, but suddenly gets selective
hearing and a serious case of the no!'s and other disruptive behavior, i can
tell when he gets tired by his behavior, lol, its like a little gauge on his
back.

With my kids, sometimes naps had to be at a specific
time. If we started trying to have the nap later
than 12:30 past noon, it took longer to get them
to sleep. Different kids will have different patterns.
They might not look tired when the best time for
the nap comes along.

i so know what you mean, if he misses his nap time it throws off his whole
day, including bed time! i found that if he misses his nap its harder to get
him to sleep at night

Consider adding a bath into the sleeptime routine.
Supposedly it does something to body temperature
that promotes sleep. Anyway, I found baths were
really useful: both to keep a baby awake during
the bath, and to help the baby or child get to
sleep shortly after the bath. I think the bath
helps relax them. (Or if they splash a lot maybe
it tires them out.)


the bath thing helpe, if i can get him out of the bath without a struggle,
lol, bath time is his favorite time of the day!!!lol

Also try to think of things you can say as part
of the bedtime routine. "Good night, sleep tight"
or whatever. Things to say just before the story
and just after. The same things every time, said
in a very loving voice. It helps make the routine
more routine, and signals the child that it's time
to go to sleep.

I'll have to try that, maybe it will help.



Tank you so much for your advice and stuff!! i'll look into the website too!

Celeste
--
Cathy